


Tales From Gotham Academy: Field Trip

by lfthinkerwrites



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Comedy, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Or not, Someone save the teachers, THEY DESERVE IT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2020-02-28 12:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18756709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lfthinkerwrites/pseuds/lfthinkerwrites
Summary: Six months after Superintendent al Ghul's visit, the yearly Gotham Academy Spring Field Trip rolls around. Someone save the teachers.





	1. The Spring Field Trip

**Author's Note:**

> And because I have absolutely no self-control, here are the continuing adventures of the 'beloved' faculty of Gotham Academy! If you haven't read Tales From Gotham Academy, you might want to before reading this, but it should be pretty easy to follow. I hope you enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most dreaded part of the school year arrives for the teachers at Gotham Academy.

On a warm April Monday afternoon, at 2:35 on the dot, a deep, Teutonic voice rumbled through the speakers of Gotham Academy. _"Attention, all members of the staff and faculty. This is Principal Hugo Strange. Report to the Teacher's Lounge after the final bell for a mandatory staff meeting. That is all."_ There was a brief pause before the speakers crackled to life again. _"Do attempt to conduct yourselves like civilized human beings, rather than wild pigs."_

Meanwhile, in the Teacher's Lounge, the beleaguered but beloved Vice-Principal Jim Gordon was waiting for the teachers to arrive, alongside his trustworthy secretary, Kristen Kringle, who was holding in her hands a bunch of plastic straws. Gordon sighed, then took a sip of water. "Well, Kristen. It's that time of year again."

Kristen nodded. "Yes, Vice-Principal Gordon." She bit her lip. "How well do you think they'll take it?"

Gordon put his glass down and sighed again. What he'd give for some of Crane's moonshine right about now. "About as well as they usually do."

"So not well at all then," Kristen said. "Oh dear."

'Oh, dear' was right. In the six months since al Ghul's visit, the teachers, for the most part, had gone right back to their mischievous behavior. Granted, Kerr had been arrested and was now incarcerated in an institution upstate, which meant no more explosions, but still. He didn't get paid enough for this crap. Finally, the last bell rang, and Gordon heard the sound of students exiting the classrooms and making their way to the exits. The teachers would begin to arrive shortly.

Neil arrived first, with a bounce in his step and a song in his heart.  **"Wilkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome!"**

Gordon waved, then gestured to the long table set up in the middle of the room. "Hi, Neil. Take a seat."

Neil did as he was told. Jervis Tetch arrived next, taking a seat three chairs down from Neil. "Hello, Jim," he greeted with a tip of his hat. "We're not in trouble again, are we?"

"No, Jervis, no one's in trouble." Not yet at least. 

Jonathan Crane arrived next, pausing for a moment to narrow his eyes at Neil before taking a seat next to Jervis. Victor Fries, Miguel Dorrance, Harvey Dent, Kirk Langstrom, Victor Goodman, and Basil Karlo, the new drama teacher and bane of Neil's existence, arrived in quick succession, filling out the seats around the table. The Sirens arrived as a group, as usual, and took the last empty row on the far right. Bolton stomped in after them and glared at the assembled group. Crane's prank against him the previous October had succeeded in robbing him of his power over the group as not even Jervis or Arnold Wesker, the timid new chemistry teacher who followed him in, flinched at his display. Bolton's face fell and he took the last seat on the far left. 

"Are we all here?" Gordon asked, looking over the room. He noticed two empty chairs between Jonathan and Neil, did a mental headcount, and let out a groan. "Where are Edward and Dr. Young?"

"They'll be along," Harley chirped. "Penny's just wrapping up her 'private consultation' with Eddie in her office."

Gordon wiped his hand across his face. "God Damn it." Six months after al Ghul's visit, and Edward and Penelope were still conducting themselves like newlyweds. It would be almost adorable if they didn't seem to insist on doing so during school hours. He'd already had to promise Waylon and the rest of the janitorial staff a 10% pay raise for all the times they'd found themselves locked out of their closets, or unable to enter a room to clean it. At least the pair of them had enough decency to not leave a mess. Well, decency may be a bit of an overstatement where Edward was concerned. Speak of the Devil and he will appear, the pair chose that moment to enter, holding hands and ignoring everything else in the room but each other. They took the empty seats between Jonathan and Neil, ignoring Harley's giggling, Pamela's scoff, Jonathan's eyeroll, and Bolton's glare. "Well," Gordon cleared his throat. "Now that we're all here. You all know what time of year it is?"

"Time for us to cheat on our taxes?" Edward quipped.

"Eddie," Penelope scolded. "Behave."

"No," Gordon said firmly. "It's the last week of April. You all know what that means."

Realization dawned on the assembled group. Some, like Jervis, Edward, and Harley, turned pale. Others, like Harvey, Jonathan, and Pamela, turned stoic. Others, like Arnold, Basil, and Penelope, became confused. "I'm sorry," Penelope said. "I don't follow. What's going on?"

"Next week is the yearly Freshman Spring Field Trip," Gordon explained. "Every year on the first week of May, Gotham Academy takes its Freshman class on a field trip."

"And every year chaos ensues," Pamela grumbled. "Where are we even taking them this year? Weren't we banned from every water park in the tri-state area after last year?"

Penelope looked at Edward with wide eyes. "How did you get banned from every water park in the tri-state area?"

"It's a long story, Darling," Edward answered. "But let's just say it involves water slides being used in a way that was not their intended purpose, an unfortunate bowel movement in the wave pool, and Kerr wearing a thong."

The group shuddered as one at the mental image. 

"We're not going to a water park," Gordon said.

"I thought we were banned from all zoos too, after what happened the year before last," Jonathan said.

Penelope opened her mouth, then closed it and took a deep breath. "Let me guess: the kids freed all the animals?"

Edward scoffed. "If only it was that mundane."

"We're not going to a zoo either," Gordon said. "Somehow, we managed to find a theme park about 60 miles upstate that was willing to accept us."

"Our merry little demons in a theme park," Jonathan drawled. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Gordon ignored him and continued. "We'll be sending out permission slips tomorrow that will be due on Friday. The trip is next Friday. Now, traditionally, we allow the Seniors to have the day of the field trip off as a free day and keep the Sophomores and Juniors on a half-day schedule. We'll still need about half of you to stay here to mind the place while the rest of us are on the trip. I'll be going on the trip myself, so I'll need a couple of you to come with me. Any volunteers?" A still silence swept across the room. Penelope moved to raise her hand, but Edward caught it and gently lowered it, shaking his head at her. Gordon took a deep breath. "Fine. And who wants to volunteer to stay at the school?" Everyone as one raised their hands, just as he expected. "Come on folks," he pleaded. "I don't like this any more than you do, but it has to be done. Someone, anyone, needs to volunteer to come on the trip." No one said a word or moved a muscle, not even Neil. Gordon set his jaw. "Fine. I'm afraid you leave me no choice." He turned to his left and nodded. "Kristen. The straws please."

Kristen dutifully stepped forward and presented the straws to the group. "Short straws go on the trip, long straws stay at the school. There should be enough for everyone." She gave them a solemn nod. "May the odds be ever in your favor." She started at the far left side of the table and worked her way down. Bolton was the first to draw a straw, pulling out a long one. Gordon breathed a sigh of relief. Bolton was the last person he wanted on this trip. Miguel was next, pulling a short straw and scowling. Then Langstrom and Goodman, each pulling a long straw. Fries pulled a short straw, Wesker a long straw, Karlo a short one. Harvey drew a short straw and loudly cursed. Neil also pulled a short straw and pouted. Penelope was next, pulling a long straw to her and Edward's visible relief. Then it was Edward's turn. He looked at the straws bunched in Kristen's hands and pondered them for a long moment.

"Just pick a damn straw and get it over with," Jonathan grumbled.

"Don't rush me," Edward snapped back. He finally picked a straw. A short straw. His face fell and he crossed his arms. Jonathan was next, also pulling a short straw. He handled it more gracefully than Edward at least.

Jervis pulled a straw next, getting a short straw. "Oh well," he chuckled nervously. "Least we're all together, right chaps?" Gordon already felt dread pooling in his stomach at the thought of all three members of the Dork Squad on the trip together.

That just left the Sirens. Harley bit her lip and drew a straw, whooping for joy when it was a long straw. Pamela was next, drawing a long straw. Finally, Selina drew the last straw and smiled like the cat who had gotten the cream. It was a long one. The Sirens would be staying at Gotham Academy together. Gordon didn't know whether to be relieved or worried.

Edward at least wasn't shy about making his displeasure at this known. "How did they each manage to draw a long straw!?" He jabbed his finger in their direction. "They cheated! They must have!"

"We drew straws!" Selina said, rolling her eyes. "How could we have possibly cheated?"

"Well, you did!" Edward shouted back.

"I'm callin' shenanigans too," Jonathan joined in. 

"No, there are no shenanigans," Gordon said. "And we're not going to spend the rest of the afternoon arguing about this. Anyone who drew a short straw is going on this trip and that's final!" Harley triumphantly stuck her tongue out at Edward. He opened his mouth to retaliate, only for Penelope to give him a pointed look. He closed it, then crossed his arms again in a sullen pout. "So we're settled," Gordon spoke again. "Miguel, Victor Fries, Basil, Harvey, Neil, Edward, Jonathan, Jervis and myself will be on the trip, Bolton, Victor Goodman, Kirk, Arnold, Penelope, Harley, Pamela, and Selina will be staying at the school. Any questions?"

"You still haven't said where exactly we're going, Jim," Harvey pointed out. 

Gordon blinked. "Oh, right. We'll be going to Mt. Olympus theme park."

At the mention of the theme park's name, Edward went rigid in his seat. Penelope noticed and shot him a concerned look. "Ooh," Harley said. "That's that new one based on a videogame, isn't it? The one with the big maze in the middle of it! What's it called?"

"The Riddle of the Minotaur," Edward said. His face looked ashen. He abruptly got up out of his seat, much to the confusion of the rest of the room. "Excuse me." He then fled from the room. Penelope and Jonathan looked at each other, then got up to follow Edward out, Jervis in close pursuit.

Gordon rubbed the back of his neck and looked at the rest of the equally surprised group. "What do you suppose that was about?"

 


	2. Backstory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope learns about Edward's past.

The next afternoon, the end of school bell found Harley and Penelope in the latter's office, talking about what had transpired yesterday. "So, Eddie still hasn't told you what's up?"

Penelope shook her head. "No. He didn't pick up his phone when I called last night. He hasn't said a word to me all day. He didn't come to the teacher's lounge during lunch break. He wouldn't even come to visit me after his computer lab."

Harley looked at her aghast. "What!? But he always comes to visit you after his computer lab! What's the matter with him?"

Penelope sighed. "I wish I knew." She'd never seen Edward like this. Even when they argued, which, given their temperaments, was unavoidable, he never, ever shut her out like this. For better and for worse, he communicated what was bothering him. This wasn't like him and it worried her as much as it annoyed her. "It's obviously connected to the trip, somehow, but I just can't figure out how."

"Did ya ask Jonny and Jervis?" 

"I did," Penelope answered. "But they're as clueless as I am."

Harley tapped her finger against her chin, puzzling this out. "Maybe it's about something that happened before he started working here. Lina's known him longest, maybe she'd know."

"Maybe," Penelope concurred. Come to think of it, other than anything relating to college or Ellen, Edward very rarely spoke about his life before he started working at Gotham Academy. She knew enough to know that he'd had a difficult childhood, so she'd never pried further, but that left a lot of blank spots in his biography. She huffed. Just her luck she'd had to fall in love with a mystery man. She was about to get out of her chair and follow Harley's suggestion about finding Selina when there was a knock at her door. "Yes?"

The door cracked open and Jervis walked in with a nervous expression on his face. "Um, White Queen? Dormouse has locked himself in the Computer Lab and won't come out."

Penelope exchanged a long-suffering look with Harley and sighed. "I'll be right there." She got up from her chair and, along with Harley, followed Jervis down the hallway that led to the Computer Lab. Just what was Edward up to now?

When the trio arrived, a small crowd had gathered outside the lab, made up mostly of students. Thankfully, as far as Penelope could tell, Ellen wasn't there. She'd be at Pam's club right about now with Duela Dent. Jonathan was there, however, banging his fist against the closed door. "Edward!" he shouted. "Open up!" 

"Go away!" Penelope heard Edward's voice from inside the lab. "Can't a man sulk in peace!?"

"Not when students need to use the damn lab you can't!" Jonathan shouted back, his patience clearly already at an end. "Stop acting like a spoiled child and open the door before I get Miguel to break it down!"

"Do your worst!" Edward challenged.

Jonathan's face darkened. Time for Penelope to step in. She gently pushed her way through the growing throng of students to Jonathan's side by the door. As he was about to bang his fist against the door again, Penelope cleared her throat. Jonathan paused, looked at her, and acknowledged her with a nod. "Afternoon, child."

"May I?" Penelope asked. Jonathan stepped to the side to allow her access to the door. Penelope gave the door a brisk knock.

"Fuck off, Jon!" Edward shouted.

Penelope bit back the choice words she wanted to say in response, instead keeping her tone measured. "Edward? It's me."

There was a long pause before Edward spoke sheepishly. "Oh. Hello."

Well, at least he hadn't snapped at her. Penelope bit her lip as she thought of how to approach her boyfriend. Well, if he wouldn't come out..."Edward? May I come in?"

There was another pause, then she heard footsteps approach the door. Another second, and she heard the telltale sound of the door being unlocked, and Edward's footsteps retreating back into the room. Jonathan gave Penelope another nod, and she entered the lab, shutting the door behind her.

The lights were still on in the lab, thankfully. Edward sat at his desk, his arms crossed across his chest and a sullen look on his face. "Eddie?" Penelope asked, approaching him. "What on Earth is going on? Are you alright?"

"I'm not going on this trip," he said vehemently. "Gordon can't make me."

Penelope considered her next words carefully. "I take it there's more to this than just how awful these field trips are. It's something about the park specifically, isn't it? Do you have some kind of history with it?"

Edward let out a deep sigh, then chuckled a bit. "Can't keep anything from you, can I Darling?"  He sighed again. "It's not the park itself. It's the company that owns it. Competitron. I used to work for them as a video game developer."

Penelope came closer to him until she was standing right next to him. "Go on."

"I went to work for them right out of college," he said. "I signed a work for hire contract for them to create games. Before you say anything, I realize now, of course, that was a poor choice to make, but I was a 22 year old with a student loan debt and a baby girl to support. I wasn't in a position to be too discriminating."

"I wasn't going to say anything," Penelope said, raising her hand. "I take it you hated working there."

Edward let out a sharp bark of laughter. "Hardly! I loved it! I love creating puzzles and games. I've always loved it. Sure, the hours were horrible, but that was a small price to pay for being able to do what I loved. I was the one who created _Riddle of the Minotaur_ you know. That game helped put Competitron on the map." As he spoke, he began to smile. Then his smile fell. 

"What happened?" Penelope asked.

"Daniel Mockridge happened," he seethed.

"Who is Daniel Mockridge?"

"The CEO of Competitron," Edward explained. "After _Riddle of the Minotaur_ broke sales records, he gave himself a raise, so I thought I deserved a cut of the royalties as well. He thought otherwise. He fired me."

This was the first she'd heard of Daniel Mockridge, but she already disliked the man. "Why didn't you sue?"

"Oh, I wanted to," Edward said. "I began to look into getting a lawyer, but," Edward's shoulders sagged. "Then Diane died. Ellen needed me to be a hundred percent present, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I let it go and tried to get work elsewhere, but Mockridge had badmouthed me to other gaming companies. Finally, the only job I could get was teaching here, and that was thanks to Selina. And here we are."

Penelope reached over to gently grasp Edward's hand. "I'm sorry, Eddie."

Edward smiled ruefully, then squeezed her hand back. "Well, this may not be the job I wanted, but I don't regret being able to be close to Ellen. Or meeting Jon and Jervis." He brought her hand up to kiss her knuckles. "Or you for that matter." Penelope flushed a bit at the display of affection, then her heart sank as Edward let go of her hand and scowled again. "I'm still not going on this trip though."

"Edward," Penelope said, not unkindly. "I know you have a bad history with Competitron, but you shouldn't let it control you."

"Mockridge set this whole thing up," Edward continued as if he hadn't heard her. "It would be just like him, too. He'll probably be there at the damn park, ready to humiliate me all over again."

"Edward," Penelope said seriously. "Don't you think you're being just a bit paranoid?"

"No, I'm not!" Edward retorted. "And I'm not going on this trip. I'll sit in this lab in protest. Gordon will have to drag me onto those buses kicking and screaming next Friday!"

Penelope rolled her eyes. Time to play hardball. "There's no reason to do that, Edward," she said, moving behind him. Edward watched her with suspicion but said nothing. "I'm sure if you asked very nicely, Harley would be more than willing to trade with you." Edward opened his mouth as if to speak, but she placed her hands on his shoulders and gently began to rub like she knew he liked. He hummed happily and leaned back, closing his eyes. "We could stay on campus together," she said in a low tone, moving her hands up to run her fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. He was limp in her touch, like a kitten, and she knew she had him right where she wanted him. Time to move in for the kill. "Of course, that would mean that you'd be letting Ellen go on a notoriously chaotic school trip completely without parental supervision."

As expected, Edward's eyes opened in a flash. He looked stricken for a moment, then he peered up at her and his eyes narrowed. "I know what you're doing," he said. "You're attempting to use my love for my daughter against me."

Penelope smirked down at him. "Is it working?" She already knew the answer and from the look on his face, he did too. The one thing she could always count on was that push come to shove, Edward would always, always put Ellen first.

Edward glared half-heartedly at her. "You've been spending far too much time in Selina's company, Darling. This is the most blatantly manipulative thing I've ever seen you do. Have you no shame?"

Penelope shrugged. "Clearly not. I work at this school, don't I?"

Edward continued to scowl, then he sat back up. "I could just not let Ellen go," he said. "Check and mate."

"That wouldn't be fair to her. And she'd be furious with you for a long time. It's one thing to not let her go if you have a genuine concern for her safety. It's something else entirely to prevent her from going on a trip just so you can avoid going on it. You're a better man and father than that."

Edward's leaned back and his face softened a bit as he looked up at her. "You really believe that, don't you?"

Penelope allowed her face to soften. "I wouldn't be with you if I didn't."

Edward smiled at her then, and it was plain to see how much he completely adored her. He took a deep breath, then got up out of his chair. "Very well," he said regally. "For you and Ellen, I will go on this trip." He grinned wolfishly at her. "I do expect you to make it up to me, however."

"I'm sure you do," Penelope said dryly. "You can come up with a list later. Let's get out of here before Jonathan makes good on his threat and gets Miguel to break down the door." 


	3. Riddle of the Minotaur 2: Daniel Mockridge Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week before the trip, the kids compare notes and begin to plot. Oh boy.

_"Attention, students of Gotham Academy. This is Principal Hugo Strange. As a reminder to our Freshman class, all signed permission slips for the Field Trip next Friday must be turned in to either Ms. Kringle or to your homeroom teacher by the end of the day today. The slips will be carefully checked for forgeries, and any and all forgers will be severely punished. This very much includes you, Mr. Todd. That is all."_

At his friend's and sibling's usual lunch table, Jason looked at the nearest loudspeaker and flipped it off with both fingers. "Fuck you too, Strange."

"You know he can't hear you," Tim pointed out, not looking up from his phone.

"It's the principal of the matter, Timbo," Jason drawled, turning his attention back to his ham sandwich, and to his best friend Roy, who was sitting beside him. "I can't believe we're stuck with Coach Numbnuts all day next Friday."

"It's not just us, Jay," Roy said. "Machin's gonna be with us in detention too. He got caught giving out free copies of _The Communist Manifesto_ to some freshman and their folks complained."

Jason groaned. "God damn it. That's just what we need. A day with Bolton and Lonnie. Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll kill each other."

Across the table, Barbara rolled her eyes. "You know how lucky you two are that you're just in detention the rest of the school year. You were this close to getting expelled for that stunt you pulled with al Ghul's car."

Jason just laughed. "Good times. Good times." He finished off the last of his sandwich. "Still, I'd almost rather be on the trip. You looking forward to it, Timbo?"

Tim looked up from his phone and shrugged. "Not really, but at least Kerr's not around to make it even worse."

Dick piped up from Tim's left. "He wasn't on the trip mine and Barbara's freshman year, and that still sucked."

"That was a camping trip, wasn't it?" Stephanie asked from Tim's right. "And you got to be gone all weekend?"

Barbara sighed. "We were supposed to be, then on the first night, Professor Crane thought it would be a good idea to tell us a scary story about the Wendigo. Then someone started a rumor that he actually was a Wendigo, and a couple of kids chased him across the campgrounds and up a tree." She shook her head. "We were on the buses back home the next morning, and all trips lasting longer than ten hours were banned."

Duke shook his head. “Man and I thought seeing Kerr in a thong last year was bad.” The kids at the table shuddered, with the exceptions of Cassandra, who wasn’t easily bothered, and Ellen and Duela, who were distracted by Ellen’s furious sketching.

Jason finally looked down the table at the pair. “You two have been quiet. What are you working on? Another issue of Beautiful Captain Zodiac Sparkles?”

“No,” Ellen said venomously. She put her pen down and passed her sketch to Duela, who passed it to Cassandra, who passed it to Roy, who passed it to Jason. He put the paper down and inspected it. It was a drawing of a guy in a business suit, with slicked back black hair and a thin mustache that screamed: “I’m a corporate douchebag, please punch me in the face!” He was complimented with devil horns and a bolt of lightning about to strike  

Jason cocked his head. "Who's this guy?"

"Daniel Mockridge," Ellen said. Jason was almost taken aback at how angry the little freshman looked. "He used to be my Dad's boss until he fired him, the fucking asshole!"

"Whoa, Ellie, language," Dick chided.

Tim suddenly looked up from his phone, his eyes wide. "Wait. Daniel Mockridge? The CEO of Competitron? That Daniel Mockridge? Your Dad used to work for him?"

"Yeah," Ellen answered, her anger replaced with confusion. "Dad used to be a game developer for them."

Tim's jaw dropped. "No way. Did he work on the original 'Riddle of the Minotaur'?"

"Yeah, he created it, but he didn't get any credit or money for it, 'cause Daniel Mockridge is a piece of shit!" Duela put her hand on Ellen's shoulder to comfort her friend. 

Tim, on the other hand, looked like he'd had his mind blown. "Wow. Ellen, you realize that your Dad is a hero to the puzzle gaming community, right?"

"That may be the dorkiest thing I've ever heard you say, Timbo," Jason laughed.

Ellen groaned. "Oh, I knew I shouldn't have told you. Please, don't ask my Dad about it. He doesn't like to talk about working there after what Mockridge did to him."

Tim reluctantly nodded. "I won't say a word, I promise." His own face darkened a bit. "I'd love to hear what he thinks about _Riddle of the Minotaur 2_ , though."

Dick and Jason let out a groan, and even Cassandra shuddered a bit. "Not again, Tim," she said. "I don't think I can listen to another three-hour rant about how bad _Riddle of the Minotaur 2_ is."

Tim however, would not be denied his rant. "$60 to pre-order the game, and then when it's released, it's so buggy it's unplayable!" He pulled up his internet browser on his phone. "Look, this guy uploaded a video after launch just to document how many bugs he found!" 

Duke looked over Tim's shoulder to look at the phone. "Dude, that video's over four hours long!"

"Yeah! And this was just after launch! He released an update video last week and it's over six hours long! And then's there are all the microtransactions! You have to pay $80 to get the skin of the player character from the first game or grind for over 500 hours in a game where you get attacked by invisible enemies or the server randomly crashes! Why do you even have to play online!? It's a single player game!"

Stephanie turned wide-eyed to Cassandra, Dick, Barbara, and Jason. "Does he always get this worked up over video games?"

"Just that one," Cassandra said. "It got so bad Alfred had to ban him from the internet for three weeks last year."

Duela raised an eyebrow. "Alfred banned him? Not Bruce? Isn't Bruce your Dad?"

"Yeah, but Alfred's the boss," Jason said. He reached across the table to tap Tim on the nose. "Settle down, sport. You're scaring the children."

Tim swat at Jason's hand. "Jason, don't touch my face!" He took a deep breath, then put his phone back down. "But fine, I'll stop. Still. Daniel Mockridge must be the worst CEO of a gaming company alive."

"Of course he is," Ellen huffed. "He fired my Dad! And even when Dad still worked there, Mockridge treated him like shit! One time when I was in second grade, my Mom took me over to Dad's office to visit him. Mockridge was there, insulting my Dad's outfit! And then he hit on Mom right in front of him! I mean, they weren't together anymore, but still! Who does that?"

"I think we can all agree that this Mockridge guy is a jerk," Barbara said. "What I'm curious about is why he's coming up now."

Ellen crossed her arms. "Competitron owns the theme park we're going to next week. I heard Dad talking with Penny and Uncle Jon about it the other night. He thinks Mockridge is gonna be at the park." Her eyes narrowed. "If that jerk tries anything with my Dad, I'll beat his ass!"

"Ellen, in the first place, you don't know that Mockridge is going to be there. In the second, there is no way you're going to get away with beating up the CEO of a major corporation, even if he is a jerk," Barbara said. 

"Barbara's right," Duela said. "If we want to get back at Mockridge, we're going to have to be a little more creative."

Now Barbara narrowed her eyes. "Not even remotely what I meant, Duela."

Dick raised his hands. "Hey, whatever you get up to, leave us out of it. Barbara and I are going to the beach next Friday."

"And Roy and I will be stuck with Coach Numbnuts," Jason moped. 

"It's alright, Jay," Roy said. "I've already got some ideas on how to make our time with him and Lonnie very special." He and Jason then began to cackle.

Barbara rolled her eyes. Stephanie gave a worried look at Duke and Cassandra. "You two think you'll be able to manage being on campus with these two next week?"

Cassandra merely shrugged, while Duke gulped. "That's a loaded question Steph. You think you'll be OK on the trip?" He gestured to Ellen and Duela, who were whispering something to each other.

Stephanie bit her lip. "I'll manage."

Barbara sniffed. "I am so glad I'm graduating in three weeks."

 


	4. The Day Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the field trip arrives. Pray for these poor, damned souls.

_Friday, May 5th, 2019_

_The Day of the Field Trip_

_The Day of Infamy_

It was a bright, sunny morning at Gotham Academy. In the parking lot in front of the school, two long buses were pulled up, with a crowd of freshmen students and their parents milling about, preparing to board. As usual, Jonathan and Jervis were among the first of the faculty to arrive, standing in front of a bus and waiting for the others to show.

"Well, here we are, old friend," Jervis said, shuffling a bit. "Another year, another horrifying trip. How bad do you suppose it's going to be this time?"

Jonathan shrugged his bony shoulders. "Well, Kerr ain't here. That's a plus."

"I'm more worried about Dormouse," Jervis muttered. "He's been in such a mood about this trip the whole week. I'm half expecting he won't show up."

"Well, you'd be wrong," Jonathan said, pointing behind them. "Here he comes now."

Indeed, Edward and Ellen walked through the growing mob of people, Ellen wearing her knapsack on her back and shaking her head. "Do you have to wear socks with your sandals, Dad? You look like a dork!"

Edward sniffed. "Well, you know how I feel about bare feet!" The father and daughter came to a stop in front of Jonathan and Jervis, and Edward gave them a nod. "Gentlemen."

Jervis politely greeted him, while Jonathan took a critical look at the tacky Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts his friend was wearing. "Which way to Margaritaville?"

"Oh, har har," Edward bit out. He pointed at Jonathan's own chicken legs, exposed as they were thanks to his own shorts. "When was the last time those saw sunlight? The Reagan administration?"

Almost on cue, the Dent family showed up next to the Nashtons, Harvey, Gilda, and Duela. Duela made a beeline to Ellen and the girls started whispering to each other. "Jesus Christ," Harvey growled. "We're not even on the bus yet and you're already starting a fight Nashton?"

"Oh, who asked you, Harv?" Edward asked, rolling his eyes.

Harvey growled again, but Gilda put a hand on his shoulder. "Sweetheart," she said. "Mind your blood pressure."

Harvey's face softened as it only did around his wife. "I'm fine, honey." 

Edward turned his attention back to his daughter. "Ellen, did you put sunscreen on before we left the house?"

Ellen looked away from her best friend to look at her father. "You saw me put some on!"

"Well, you need to put on more! You're already turning pink!" Edward pulled a bottle of sunscreen out of his pocket and squeezed some onto his hand. "Come here!"

Ellen groaned but came forward. "I hate my ginger genes," she complained. She moved to take the bottle from her father, only for him to slather it on her face himself. "Dad!" Ellen wailed. "Do you have to do this here!?"

"Oh, how horrible! A father doing his best to make sure his only child doesn't get skin cancer! Someone call the media!"

Ellen looked beseechingly at Jonathan. "Uncle Jon! Make Dad leave me alone!"

"Edward, leave the child be," Jonathan chided. "You're embarrassin' her."

Edward finished and Ellen scurried off back to Duela, who was trying and failing to stifle a laugh.

"Duela," Gilda called out. "You be sure to wear sunscreen too."

"But Mom, I tan!" Duela protested.

"Doesn't matter," Harvey said. "Put it on when we get on the bus."

"When are we getting on the buses?" Jervis asked, taking a look at the ever-growing mob. Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown appeared by Ellen and Duela and became involved in whatever conversation the girls were having. "I think all of the freshmen are just about here."

"Just waiting on Gordon to show," Jonathan said. By the other bus, he saw Victor Fries and Miguel trying to get the kids lined up. "It's damn near nine now. Aren't we supposed to leave at 9:30?"

"Jim's going over the plans for the day with the teachers who are staying at the school," Harvey explained. "He's also probably telling Bolton to go easy on the discipline."

Edward snorted. "That'll be a first! 

You might as well ask Goodman to stop being over-dramatic, or Karlo to stop being pretentious-"

"Or you to stop being such an obnoxious pain in the ass!" Harvey interrupted.

Edward's face darkened, but immediately lit up when he caught sight of someone approaching. "Darling!" Penelope came up to the small group, her usual serious expression only just softening as she approached her boyfriend. "Did you come to see me off?" Edward asked.

"Yes," she admitted. "Actually, I also wanted to ask you to-"

"'Try to have a good time'? That's not happening and we know it," Edward glowered.

Penelope rolled her eyes. "Actually, I was going to ask you to try not to get into any trouble today."

"Me? Get into trouble? I am a paragon of virtue! A role model for the children to aspire to!"

"You threw a big hissy tantrum the other day when the vending machine in the teacher's lounge ran out of orange soda," Jonathan drawled.

"After it already ate my money, Jonathan!"

Penelope shook her head, then grabbed gently onto Edward's hand, drawing him away from the group a few feet. "If you're right and this Mockridge is at the park," she said in a low tone. "Than he's probably going to try to bait you into a fight. Just for today, ignore it. Be the bigger man."

Edward huffed. "Fine. For you and Ellen, I'll try."

Penelope smiled softly at him then. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? I'm sure Jonathan or Jervis would be more than happy to trade places."

"No," Edward said, kissing her hand. "One of us deserves to get through this day with their sanity intact. Just promise me that you won't get involved in whatever mischief the Sirens have planned for the day."

"Have I ever?" she asked with a bemused expression on her face.

"No, but they'll try."

While the two had their conversation, Ellen watched them with an intent expression on her face. Duela gently elbowed her. "You think she might become your stepmom?"

Ellen shrugged. "Maybe."

"Where are you on the little brother or sister front?"

"I asked Dad again on Christmas if I could have one for my Birthday and he turned really pink and wouldn't talk about it." Ellen pouted. "I'm probably not gonna get one until college at this rate."

Tim scoffed. "Ellen, trust me. Siblings are overrated."

"Nashton!" Harvey called. "Jim's coming! Get back here!"

Edward's face darkened, but he and Penelope came to rejoin the group just as Gordon, trailed as always by Kristen, made his way through the crowd. As soon as got to the front of the bus, he cleared his throat and began to speak. "Good morning everybody! In just a few minutes, we'll be taking off, so we need all students to line up single file in front of one of these buses."

"Speaking of," Jervis pointed out, turning to his friends and colleagues. "We're all getting on this bus, right?"

"As long as Neil isn't on it we are," Jonathan replied.

"Where is Neil?" Jervis asked, taking a quick look around. "I haven't seen him or Basil yet."

"Maybe we got lucky and they called out," Harvey muttered. "Or they murdered each other."

"Harvey," Gilda lightly scolded.

Penelope shook her head. "Neil and Karlo on the trip together? What was Gordon thinking allowing that to happen?"

A loud whistle blew, interrupting Gordon while he was still addressing the crowd of students and their parents. The crowd turned as one and saw Neil at the school's entrance, in front of a portion of the school's marching band, dressed in a spiffy summer outfit and waving a baton around. He led out the band to an instrumental rendition of _76 Trombones_ , a wide smile on his face the whole time.

Jonathan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jesus. Tap-dancing. _Christ_."

"Well," Edward said. "If nothing else, Neil certainly knows how to make an entrance."

Neil continued up to the second bus, the children falling into a single-file line behind him. As soon as he was at the front, he turned and bowed to the marching band. "Thank you, boys and girls! Enjoy your day today!" The band dispersed and the assembled crowd broke out into loud applause. 

Basil Karlo chose that moment to make his appearance. He walked up next to Neil, looked at his outfit and sniffed. "Not bad. For a rank amateur."

Neil's face turned bright red. He looked like he was about to say something when Gordon spoke up again. "Anyway. We'll be arriving back on campus at 5:30 pm. Parents, please be here to pick up your kids. That being said, it's time to board." The students by the first bus finally began to line up after saying their goodbyes to their parents and guardians. 

Ellen and Duela, by virtue of being daughters of faculty members, were the first to board. "Save me a window seat, Duela!" Ellen called after her friend as they scrambled aboard. 

"Ellen, don't run!" Edward called after her. Tim and Stephanie followed their friends onto the bus. Soon, the last students had boarded and it was time for the staff to go. Jonathan and Jervis climbed aboard, while Edward and Harvey both turned to their significant others for their final goodbyes.

"Great. A day at a theme park with these nuts," Harvey grumbled.

Gilda leaned up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. "Don't let it get too you too much, Harvey. Try to have fun with Duela today."

Harvey smiled at his wife, then got aboard.

"Remember what we talked about, Edward," Penelope said, lightly squeezing his hand. "Try not to get into trouble."

"Well, I can't speak for my illustrious colleagues, but I promise that I won't start anything," he said. He leaned in a bit closer. "In the meantime, I had a few more ideas of what you could do to reward me."

Penelope fondly rolled her eyes. "Reward you for behaving like you're supposed to? Really?"

Edward mock-pouted, only to catch someone approaching from the corner of his eye. "Oh no."

Penelope was about to ask him what was wrong, only for Harley's voice to interrupt. "Hiya, Eddie!" She bounded up to give him a hug. Selina and Pamela showed up as well, both of them looking at the bus with a smirk. 

Edward groaned. "What are you three doing here? Come to rub it in one last time?"

"Actually, I needed to speak to them," Gordon said. He turned to address Selina. "So we're all clear on the schedule for the day?"

"Half-day classes, final bell at 12:30, kids in detention out by 2:30, clubs and activities out by 3:00, stay on campus until you get back and help with pickup," Selina rattled off. "Crystal clear."

Gordon nodded. "Good. Remember, Strange will be leaving campus at 12:30 for a meeting with members of the school board. Kristen, of course, will help out with anything you might need." His look turned grave. "Keep an eye on Bolton, but don't start anything with him. Understand?"

Pamela scoffed. "You should be telling him not to start anything with us."

"I did, as a matter of fact," Gordon said. "Alright, I think that's everything. Kristen, give me status updates every hour until school's out. Ladies, try not to have too much fun." He turned and walked towards the second bus to help them with boarding, leaving Edward with the Sirens.

"This is gonna be great!" Harley said, throwing her arms around Kristen and Penelope's shoulders. "After Strange leaves, we're gonna have a girl's day in the chem lab!"

Edward grimaced. "And just what nonsense does that entail?"

Pamela let out a cold laugh. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Edward's face fell, and Penelope shook off Harley's grip to reassure him. "I'm sure it'll be fine," she said. 

"Relax Eddie, we'll take care of your girl," Selina teased.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Edward ground out.

Penelope rolled her eyes. "You're all ridiculous."

"Edward!" Jonathan called out. "Are you getting on board or do Dent and I have to drag your ass on?"

"I'm coming!" Edward snapped. He took one last look at his girlfriend and the Sirens and shuddered. "Remember me fondly."

Harley just gave him a cheeky wave. "Bye, Eddie! See you in the funny papers!"

Edward waved back, then took a deep breath and boarded. Gordon came back to the bus and gave the women a wave before he climbed on. The bus door closed and the remaining crowd of people took a step back as the buses started. The first bus pulled out of the parking lot, followed by the second bus. In a matter of moments, the buses had passed the main gate and were on their way to Mt. Olympus theme park.

God help them all.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider the first four chapters an elaborate prologue. Now that the trip is underway, the true chaos starts.


	5. The Bus Ride of Doom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title's a bit self-explanatory.

As one could probably imagine with this motley crew, it took only a manner of minutes before the members of the faculty on the trip began to engage in tomfuckery. Let us first consider the fine, upstanding gentlemen on the first bus. No sooner had the bus pulled onto the main road leading away from Gotham Academy did Jonathan reach beneath his seat and pull out the backpack that he had brought along. In the aisle seat next to him, Edward looked at this with a raised eyebrow. "What's that? A snack bag?"

"You could say that," Jonathan drawled as he pulled out a bottle. The liquid inside of it was clear, but the smell that emanated from it when Jonathan opened it could peel the paint off of a brick house.

Edward recoiled when he realized what it was. "Oh, Jonathan! Don't tell me you brought your moonshine!"

Jonathan took a long swig from the bottle and looked at Edward defiantly. "So what if I did? I'm gonna fucking need it on this trip."

From the seat in front of them, Jervis turned around and shook his head. "Oh, March Hare. Not again."

Ellen chose that moment to poke her head up over the seat behind them. "Can I try some of your moonshine, Uncle Jon?"

Edward spoke before Jonathan could. "No, you may absolutely not! That stuff will make you go blind!"

Ellen sank back down. "Phooey."

Across the bus aisle, Gordon and Harvey looked at Jonathan with concern and disgust, respectively. "Jonathan," Gordon scolded. "Put that away. The last thing we need is a repeat of the zoo trip two years ago."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "I was not drunk on that trip."

"No?" Harvey asked. "Then why else did you let Todd throw the O'Malley kid into the swan pond?"

"The O'Malley boy was a bully who got what he deserved. At any rate, I was tired after a long day of walking around the zoo and needed to rest my weary bones."

"You were passed out drunk on a bench," Harvey argued. "How else do you explain sleeping through the polar bears escaping?"

"Sheer luck."

Edward scoffed. "Right. Luck. Why do you even need to make moonshine? You live within walking distance of five liquor stores!"

"None of what they have is strong enough for my needs."

While the adults in front of them were distracted by this debate, Ellen and Duela walked across the aisle to where Tim and Stephanie were sitting. Tim, as always, had his phone out and was browsing on it. "So," Duela asked. "What's your plan to help us get back at Mockridge?"

Tim looked up to make sure none of the adults were looking in their direction, then showed the girls his phone screen. "So, Mt. Olympus has this mock-up of the actual mountain right in the middle of the park. That's where their administrative offices are. On both sides of the mountain, there are large projection screens that show ads and short films and stuff like that. My plan is, we get away from the rest of the glass, get into the offices, hijack the projectors, and play the best anti-Competitron and Mockridge memes that came out."

Ellen threw a hand over her mouth to cover her snort of laughter. "That's perfect!" she whispered. She looked back towards her father, still arguing with her Uncle Jon over his moonshine. "Dad's gonna be watching me like a hawk though. How do we sneak away?"

"With these teachers? It shouldn't be too hard to come up with a way to distract them," Stephanie said. 

Tim bit his lower lip and fidgeted with his phone. "It's not just the teachers we have to worry about though. Bruce is going to meet us at the park to help with supervision."

Duela groaned. "Oh great. Between My Dad, Ellen's Dad, and Bruce, it's gonna be tough to get away long enough to go to the bathroom."

Tim shrugged. "We'll think of something. You better get back to your seats though. Looks like Principal Gordon's winning the moonshine debate."

Indeed, Gordon had stood out of his seat by this point and was using the most authoritative tone he could. "This trip is going to be difficult enough without having to deal with you getting tipsy and picking a fight with the park's staff. For the last time Jonathan put it away or I'll confiscate it from you!"

Jonathan glared, but screwed the top back on the bottle and put it back into the backpack. While this was happening, Ellen and Duela made their way back to their seats, sitting down before anyone noticed that they had even gotten up in the first place. 

"Unbelievable," Harvey growled. "We're not even on the damn freeway yet and someone's already started shit."

"Pipe down and take your blood pressure pills, Harv," Jonathan snarked. "Wouldn't want a repeat of the time you tore apart a water slide and tried to club Kerr with it."

"Now, now," Edward pointed out before Harvey could get out and punch Jonathan. "In Harvey's defense, Kerr had it coming. I had nightmares for weeks about that thong."

"Gentlemen," Jervis pleaded. "It's been so long since the three of us had any kind of adventure. Let's try to enjoy ourselves as much as we can."

Jonathan and Edward shot Jervis a disbelieving look but said nothing. Across the aisle, Gordon sighed. "I hope things are going alright on the other bus."

 

_Meanwhile on the other bus_

 

**"And yet, of course, I rather like to revel! Ha ha! I have no strong objection to champagne! Ha ha! My wardrobe is expensive as the Devil! Ha ha! Perhaps it is ignoble to complain!"**

"Harris," Karlo seethed. "Must you bother us with your base butchery of Bernstein?"

Neil abruptly cut off and shot Karlo a death glare. "You're just jealous because I can hit the notes!"

Karlo rolled his eyes. "Please. Your cacophonous caterwauling would drive him to tears!"

"And again with the alliteration," Neil shouted back. The students sitting behind the teachers looked at each other and shrank down in their seats. Another fight was brewing. "Newsflash, you pretentious prick: That doesn't impress anyone!"

"I will not apologize for enriching the ears of our youngsters. You're just jealous because you went to a community college while I had a full scholarship to Julliard."

"And yet you're teaching at a high school too," Neil snapped. 

Victor Fries and Miguel sat in the back of the bus, ostensibly to make sure the students back there behaved, but in reality to steer clear of the Neil and Karlo's feud. Fries had his headphones plugged into his phone and was ignoring the fight entirely. Miguel however, stood up. "Gentlemen," he called out. "Don't make me come up there."

Both men pointed at each other across the aisle. "He started it!"

"I'll finish it if you don't settle down," Miguel warned. "Neil, perhaps find something else to sing."

Neil pouted, then an evil smile came across his face.  **"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer!"**

Karlo's eyebrow twitched. "Not that."

Neil continued on.  **"Take one down and pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall! Come on kids, sing along!"**

The students slowly, but surely, joined in.  **"98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer! Take one down and pass it around, 97 bottles of beer on the wall!"**

Karlo grit his teeth. "You will pay for this, Harris."

 

_Meanwhile, back on the first bus_

 

Edward looked at his phone and began to text a message out. _I miss you already._ Jonathan looked over his shoulder and let out an irritated "For fuck's sake, Edward. We've only been gone twenty minutes."

Edward flushed and put his phone away. "Rude! At any rate, I need all the moral support I can get to face off against Mockridge."

"You don't even know he'll be there. And even if he is, he might not remember you."

Edward's eyes flashed. "Might not remember me? Might not remember the man who put his company on the map!? Oh, I'll make sure he remembers me!"

Jonathan put a hand on his shoulder. "Settle down. Remember, you aren't starting anything today. Not in front of Ellen."

Edward took a deep breath and calmed down. For Ellen's sake, he'd behave. "Fine." He pulled his phone out again and began to type out another message.  _Be careful._

"Edward, she's a grown woman. She can handle being on campus without you for a few hours," Jonathan chided.

Edward hid his phone. "Rude!"

Jervis peeked over from his seat. "You don't think Bolton's going to cause much trouble, do you?" he asked. "He's been rather quiet since October." 

All three men smirked at the reminder of their prank last Fall, before Edward's face fell. "I don't care about Bolton. It's the Sirens I'm worried about! God only knows what mischief they'll get up to now that they have full run of the campus!"

Jonathan rolled his eyes at his friend's dramatics. "You're just worried Selina's going to share old college stories."

Edward flushed again but quickly recovered. "No, I'm not! Why would I be? I have nothing to be embarrassed about! I was a model student!"

Ellen chose that moment to pipe up. "How come you won't show me any of your old college pictures then?"

Jonathan and Jervis shared a laugh while Edward sank down in his seat. "I'll tell you when you're older, sweetheart."

 

_Meanwhile on the other bus_

 

**"59 bottles of beer on the wall! 59 bottles of beer! Take one down and pass it around, 58 bottles of beer on the wall!"**

Karlo's eye twitched again. "Harris. Be quiet."

The students, sensing Karlo's rage, quieted down but Neil continued on, his voice growing higher in pitch, looking Karlo dead in the eyes all the while.  **"57 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! 57 BOTTLES OF BEER!"**

"Harris! Shut up!" Karlo shouted.

**"TAKE ONE DOWN AND PASS IT AROUND! 56 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! 56 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! 56 BOTTLES OF BEER!"**

"SHUT UP!" Karlo roared.

Neil was more screaming than singing at this point.  **"TAKE ONE DOWN AND PASS IT AROUND! 55 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!"**

Karlo got out of his seat and charged across the aisle, wrapping his hands around Neil's throat. "SHUT UP GODDAMN YOU!" Neil quickly broke free and headbutted Karlo, and soon, the two were throwing punches at each other.

"Mr. Dorrance!" a kid shrieked. "Mr. Karlo and Mr. Harris are trying to kill each other!"

"Go Mr. Harris!" Another kid shouted. "Kick his ass!"

Miguel looked Heavenward. "Not even thirty minutes." He sighed, then got out of his seat to break up the fight.

 

_Meanwhile, back on the first bus_

 

"Well, I have to say, moonshine aside, so far this has been an uneventful ride," Gordon said to Harvey. "We're already almost a third of the way there." Famous last words.

A kid seating in the back of the bus suddenly cried out. "Principal Gordon! The other bus is going off the road!"

All heads immediately snapped to the back of the bus. Sure enough, the second bus was pulling over to the side of the road, it's emergency lights flashing. Gordon cursed, then called for the driver of their bus to pull over as well. "Did it get a flat tire?" Jervis asked. His question was answered when the back doors of the second bus flew open and Neil and Karlo, tumbled out, still throwing punches at one another. Miguel jumped out after them, trying his best to pull them apart. As soon as the bus came to a complete stop, Gordon and Harvey rushed out to help Miguel, while the kids, Tim and Duela included, filmed the whole thing on their phones. 

Jonathan once that he saw that the coast was clear, pulled out his moonshine and took another swig. It was going to be a long day.

 

 


	6. Daniel Mockridge Still Sucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our 'heroes' arrive, where they meet Daniel Mockridge and an equally unwanted surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Yeah,l there's no excuse for how late this is. Hope you enjoy it!

At 11:30 AM, a half-hour behind schedule, the two school buses finally pulled into the school parking lot at Mt. Olympus Theme Park, much to the relief of everyone on board. (It had only taken about five minutes to break up the fight. The remaining twenty-five were spent arguing over who had to switch buses with Karlo. Jervis was finally volunteered.) "God Almighty," Gordon groaned, getting out of his seat when the bus came to a complete stop. "We've only been gone two hours and there's already been a fight."

"I told you we should have ditched Neil and Karlo by the side of the road," Harvey muttered. "You know it's only a matter of time before they start that shit again."

"I know," Gordon sighed. "We're going to have to keep them separated as much as possible." Gordon turned around and raised his voice. "Okay, kids! Everyone off single file!"

The kids gathered their bags and followed Gordon and the teachers off in an orderly fashion. The park had opened at 10:30, and there was already a fleet of cars parked in the parking lot. As the group marched towards the special school entrance, Edward was noticeably dragging his feet. Jonathan and Jervis fell back to walk with him. "Edward," Jonathan hissed. "Knock it off. You're acting like you're being taken to execution."

"I swear to God," Edward muttered. "If Mockridge is there, I'm turning around and staying on the bus for the rest of the day!"

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "I'm sure Penelope would be delighted to hear that. And Ellen will enjoy running around the park without your supervision."

Edward sulked, but said nothing, conceding the point. 

"Oh, cheer up, Dormouse," Jervis encouraged. "Maybe it won't be so bad."

As the group rounded the corner and prepared to enter, the teachers noticed that there were three figures by the entrance waiting for them. One of them, dressed immaculately in casual wear, was painfully familiar to the group. It was Bruce Wayne. Beside him stood his faithful retainer, Alfred Pennyworth, and a young boy, perhaps about 12 years old, looking at the teachers with pointed disgust." _Tt._ You're late."

As soon as Tim made eye contact with the boy, he groaned. "Bruce! What's Damian doing here!?"

"I'm about as happy to be here as you are, Drake," Damian said.

Bruce sighed. "Talia had an emergency meeting she couldn't get out of. For all our sakes, you two, try to get along today."

Tim nodded, while Damian let out another " _Tt_!"

Stephanie reached down to squeeze Tim's hand while Duela elbowed him. "So that's your little brother, huh?"

"Unfortunately," Tim muttered. 

Stephanie giggled. "Aww, he's kind of cute! In a pitbull kind of way."

"Well, he's not," Tim said. "He's a demon."

Bruce meanwhile, approached Gordon and Harvey. He narrowed his eyes when he saw the Dork Squad and Edward in particular and grew concerned when he saw Harris and Karlo both sporting black eyes. "Do I want to know what happened?" he asked Harvey. 

"Harris and Karlo got one of the buses pulled over when they started a fight," Harvey explained. "You sure you want to be part of our nightmare, Bruce?"

Bruce shook his head. "No, but it's too late now."

The teachers meanwhile, had their own opinions about finally seeing Wayne's youngest hellspawn in the flesh. "Well," Edward said under his breath. "You can certainly see the resemblance to al Ghul. Especially in that glare."

Damian's eyes narrowed as if he'd heard that comment. His gaze went over the teachers again and he clearly found them lacking. "Father," he said. "Must I attend Gotham Academy? Can't I go abroad instead?"

"Yeah, Bruce," Tim chimed in. "Can he?"

Bruce stifled a groan. "We'll talk about this later, boys. Let's head into the park. The CEO of Competitron is waiting for us."

At that, Edward went sickly pale. Ellen's face darkened, then she pushed her way through the crowd of students to get back to her father. Edward continued to stand still, not reacting to Jonathan's nudges or Jervis' cajoling. "Edward," Jonathan urged. "Pull yourself together."

"I knew it," Edward said. "I knew he'd be here." His face began to purple. "He's going to rub everything he has in my face, the miserable, vainglorious, son of a-"

"Dad?" Edward was cut off mid-rant by the sound of his daughter's voice and the sight of her concerned face. She went up to give him a hug. "Are you ok?"

All the fight left Edward and he sighed, returning his daughter's hug. "I will be, sweetheart. Don't worry about me." He leaned down to give her a kiss on the forehead, then straightened back up. "Gentlemen," he said. "Let's get this over with." And so the Dork Squad, plus Ellen, followed the rest of the Freshman class into Mt. Olympus.

Immediately, the group was assaulted by the sights and sounds of a typical ramshackle, overcrowded, overpriced theme park. Crowds of tourists were already milling about the main plaza, disinterested parents dragging along screaming children through mock-ups of Ancient Greek buildings that looked more rundown than the literal ruins in the actual country. The smell of greasy food court 'food', if that's what you can even call it, wafted through, curdling the nose of anyone who smelt it, including poor Alfred Pennyworth, who looked like someone had just murdered his dog in front of him. Edward looked at the theme park workers, the poor souls, doing their work dressed in togas that looked like they'd been purchased at the cheapest Spirit Halloween store in the tri-state area. "I'm almost sorry Goodman's not here to see this," he whispered to Jonathan and Jervis. "The historical inaccuracies in the costumes alone would give him a seizure."

Jonathan absently nodded his agreement, looking at a map of the park. "'Legionnaire Lagoon'? 'Escape from Pompeii'? Do these people not know the difference between Greece and Rome, or do they just not care?"

Meanwhile, just ahead of the Dork Squad, Tim, Stephanie, and Duela were discussing their own plan. "So," Stephanie whispered in Tim's ear. "What's your plan for getting away from Bruce?"

Tim looked to make sure Bruce, still ahead of them in conversation with Harvey and Gordon, wasn't paying attention. Then he whispered back. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Duela asked.

"Damian's here," Tim said. "He's bound to do something to distract Bruce. We just have to wait."

Duela huffed. "How do you know?"

"I live with him, Duela. Trust me. I know."

The group came to a stop in front of an elaborate fountain in the middle of the plaza. Waiting for them were three figures. One of them was a blond young woman in a business suit who looked like she had a permanent smile etched on her face, the other a large, bearded man in a costume carrying a lightning bolt. It was the third man, standing in the middle, who caught Edward's immediate attention. He came to a stop, and his eyes began to twitch. Beside him, Ellen also came to a stop, her gaze darkening as the man made eye contact with her father and smiled. "Eddie Nashton!" he called out.

Edward's eye twitched even more. "Daniel Mockridge."

Mockridge gestured for Edward to come closer. "It's been forever! Come on up, Eddie!" Edward would have been content to stay right where he was, except Jonathan elbowed him. After glaring at his friend, he reluctantly walked towards the front of the group, Ellen trailing close by his side. He stopped when he was right in front of Mockridge, presenting himself for inspection as it were. Let us take a moment to describe Daniel Mockridge. If Gordon Gecko and Martin Shkreli had a baby, then sold that baby to the Devil, only for the Devil to give the baby back because it was too evil even for him, then that infant would be Daniel Mockridge. He was every corporate stereotype come to life. He wore a gray business suit, had enough oil in his slicked-back hair to set the Gotham river on fire, and had a cruel glint in his beady blue eyes as he looked at Edward's clothing. "Socks in sandals, huh Eddie? Some things never change." He laughed at his own joke, ignoring or not noticing the embarrassed flush on Edward's face. Then he turned his attention to Ellen and he smiled. "Aw, and here's the little tyke! Emily, right?"

"My name's Ellen," she hissed, making sure she was standing between him and her father. 

"Right," Mockridge said dismissively. Then he smirked lasciviously. "How's your Mom, Ellen?"

"She's dead, numbnuts."

"Ellen!" Edward scolded. "Langauge!"

Ellen's words actually wiped the smirk off of Mockridge's face. "Oh," he said. "Sorry, I didn't know." The moment quickly passed, and Mockride turned to greet Gordon. "Anyway! Welcome to Mt. Olympus Theme Park!"

Gordon nodded. "Thank you for agreeing to have us, Mr. Mockridge."

"Not at all," Mockridge said. "When I found out Eddie here was teaching at Gotham Academy, I just had to have you stop by," Edward responded by grinding his teeth. "I just wanted to start off by giving you folks a personal tour of the facilities, with the help of my assistant, Cleo Droukas," he gestured towards the blond woman. "And our very own spokesman, Zeus himself!"

"Welcome to Mt. Olympus, children!" the bearded man boomed on cue. "I, the all-mighty Zeus, welcome you to my domain!"

"That's great Maxie," Mockridge said with a wave of his hand. "We've got all sorts of rides and attractions, and you kids will get fast passes to them all." He gave a condescending nod to Damian. "We've even got a petting zoo set up for the little ones."

"Don't you condescend to me, you corporate shark," Damian hissed. "I'm twelve, not an imbecile!"

"Damian," Bruce warned. "Down boy."

Mockridge blinked for a long moment, unsure how to respond to the boy. "Anyway! Let's head to the chariots and start the tour."

"Yes!" Zeus cried out. "Onward! Feast your eyes on my divine glory!"

Bruce and Harvey exchanged a long-suffering look. "I can already tell that this is going to be a delightful day," Alfred drawled.

"Eddie!" Mockridge shouted. "You and your kid get in the first chariot with me! I want you to get the best look at the park!" His smirk turned evil. "Especially the maze. I think you'll get a real kick out of that."

Edward looked like he very much wanted to strangle the man, but a look from Gordon stayed his hand. Instead, he walked alongside his former employer. Near the back of the group, Jonathan and Jervis looked at each other.

"My God," Jervis muttered. "That man is pure evil! And I thought poor Dormouse was exaggerating!"

"For once in his life, I think Edward was underselling it," Jonathan agreed.

Jervis nodded. "Quite so. We're definitely going to take this Mockridge chav down a peg, right?"

"Yes, Jervis. Yes, we are."

 

 

 

 


	7. The Alleged Spanakopita

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the tour, the teachers and kids have lunch. This goes about as well as you would expect.

The 'chariots', (or rather, the modified buses that served as tour guides), dropped the students and faculty off in the food court that was located in the center of the park, under the shadow of Mt. Olympus. The first 'chariot's door opened and Zeus stepped out, waving his arms. "Ah! Come, my children! Feast upon my ambrosia and nectar of the Gods!"

"That's great, Maxie," Mockridge said dismissively. He disembarked, followed by the Waynes, the Dents, Gordon, and the Nashtons. As soon as Edward had joined the group forming in front of the chariots, Mockridge threw an arm around his shoulders. "So, what did you think of the maze, Eddie?" Mockridge asked, his pointy teeth bared in a predatory smile. "Did it bring back any fond memories?"

Edward grit his teeth and balled his fists. "Oh yes," he seethed. "I especially enjoyed the part where you blocked off half of the maze unless people paid the more exclusive ticket price. That's exactly what I had in mind when I-"

"Anyway," Mockridge interrupted. "Thought it would be a good idea to treat your kids to lunch before I let you loose in the park."

The aroma of the food court drifted towards the assembled group and poor Alfred Pennyworth's eyes bulged out. "Oh dear Lord. You expect the children to eat there?"

"We got plenty of authentic Greek food for the kids," Mockridge said. "Greek pizza, salad, spaghetti-"

"That's Italian," Alfred pointed out.

"Whatever," Mockridge said. "Anyway, let's eat!" He led the group into the food court towards a cluster of picnic benches that were underneath a blue and white striped canopy. Jonathan and Jervis caught up to Edward and Ellen and took in the sight of the food being offered. 

"Jesus Christ," Jonathan murmured as he gazed upon a greasy looking baklava. "This is makin' me miss Valentin's food."

"White Queen is half greek, isn't she Dormouse?" Jervis asked.

"She is indeed," Edward answered. "Her mother's from Athens, actually." Edward cringed when he saw dolmas that looked almost radioactive. "Poor Alexandra would cry and beat someone with a shoe if she could see this."

"Isn't that how she reacted when she first met you?" Jonathan teased.

"Har har. As a matter of fact, she adores me."

"Dad," Ellen asked. "Can I get a pizza?"

"Sweetheart, you are eating a vegetable today even if it kills me."

"You might as well let her, Nashton," Harvey said further to his left. "The pizza's probably the healthiest thing here."

Edward took a closer look at the salads being offered and noticed how brown the leaves looked. "Noted."

Half the kids took their seats on the picnic benches while the other half milled about the food court, stopping by each kiosk and attempting to find something halfway edible. At the head picnic table, Alfred pulled a plastic bag from his knapsack. "You'll be pleased to know Master Timothy," he said as soon as Tim and Stephanie had sat down. "That I took the liberty of bringing sandwiches for you and Miss Stephanie."

Tim blushed a bit and Stephanie giggled. "That wasn't necessary Alfred-"

"I'm afraid I must insist," Alfred said, placing sandwiches in front of the pair. "Even by theme park standards, this food is ghastly."

Meanwhile, The Dork Squad, Ellen and the Dents were paused in front of one kiosk, their eyes wide in horror at the concoction before them. It appeared to be a pie of some kind, but it was more wobbly than any pastry had any right to be. The green filling inside might have been spinach, but it had the consistency of gelatin. "What _is_ that?" Duela asked in awe.

"I believe that is an attempt at a spanakopita," Edward said. "They're quite delicious actually when cooked properly, which that one was most definitely not."

Duela nodded. "Is it supposed to be wobbling like that?"

"No," Harvey said. "And you're not eating that. Let's get the 'Greek' pizza. At least that's had all the bacteria deep fried out of it." Ellen followed them toward the pizza stand while the Dork Squad stood in front of the kiosk a while longer.

"Are you going to try it?" Edward asked Jonathan.

"Hell no," Jonathan answered. "Whatever that is, it ain't food."

"That should come with a government health warning," Jervis muttered. "I'm almost tempted to take it back to the academy to show Pamela."

"She'd take it as a declaration of war," Edward chuckled. The alleged spanakopita jiggled some more, prompting the men to take a step back.

"It can hear us," Jervis whispered. The spanakopita jiggled again, and Edward and Jervis bolted towards the pizza stand, while Jonathan contemplated it.

"Fascinatin'," he said before joining his friends.

Meanwhile, Bruce and Damian had joined Alfred, Tim, and Stephanie at the head picnic table. Mockridge approached them with an oily smile directed straight at Bruce. "So, Mr. Wayne. How are you liking the park so far?"

Bruce frowned at the servile tone in the man's voice. "Actually Mockridge, I have concerns about the safety of some of these rides. 'Escape from Pompeii'? That just looks like a stampede waiting to happen."

"Aww come on," Mockridge wheedled. "Kids love running and they love volcanoes." He leaned down and smiled at Damian. "Don't you kids love volcanoes?"

"Oh yes," Damian drawled contemptuously. "I especially love to go hot lava rafting on the weekends. _Tt._ "

Tim and Steph laughed while Mockridge's face fell and he walked off towards the table next door, where the Dork Squad, Ellen and the Dents were sitting. Edward had his phone out and let out a sigh. "Harley just sent a group picture of the girls back at the Academy." He showed a disinterested Jonathan and an indulgent Jervis the picture and sighed. "I miss her so much..."

"For fuck's sake Nashton," Harvey grumbled. "I'm a married man and I'm not carrying on like that. You're acting like a teenager. Wait, I take that back. Duela would never act like that."

"Thanks, Dad," Duela said in between bites of her pizza.

Edward glared at Harvey only for all at the table to be distracted by the sound of a wolf whistle. "I was wondering where the ladies who taught at your school were," Mockridge said, ogling each of the women in the group photo. " _Nice_." Much to Edward's dismay, he pointed at Penelope. "This one looks like a bit of an ice queen though. I pity the man who tries to take a crack at that." Edward saw red and was about to get up and slug Mockridge when Jonathan gave him a pointed glare. He forced himself to take a deep breath. _Strike One_. Mockridge continued on, not noticing or not caring how uncomfortable or angry everyone at the table was becoming. He pointed at Selina. "Now there's a looker. She single?"

Edward smirked. "Let me check. Oh, Bruce?" He called out. "You and Selina are still a thing, right? Mr. Mockridge here was inquiring about Selina's dating status." As expected, Bruce looked up from his sandwich and fixed Mockridge with an icy glare. Mockridge paled. "I take it that's a yes. Sorry, Daniel. Better luck next time." Mockridge's face colored a bit and he hastily bid a retreat, much to the amusement of the onlookers.

"Nicely played," Jonathan said.

Edward gave everyone at the table a small bow. "Thank you, thank you." His self-congratulation was interrupted by a squeak from Ellen.

"Look!" she pointed towards the picnic table behind them. "Mr. Harris grabbed some spanakopita!"

Everyone at the table turned as one to see that Neil indeed had a large piece of the alleged spanakopita on his tray. He looked at them with a curious expression on his face. "What?"

"You're not seriously going to eat that, are you?" Harvey asked.

Neil shrugged. "I like spanakopita!"

"That is not spanakopita," Edward said. "That is death in a pastry."

"Oh, pish posh!" Neil said. "Where's your sense of adventure?"

"Neil, please," Jervis pleaded. "That...thing will be the end of you."

"His funeral," Jonathan said, not even bothering to look up from his pizza.

Neil stabbed the gelatinous pastry with his fork and broke off a piece, putting it in his mouth and chewing much to the disgust of everyone around him. He swallowed it seconds later, and nothing happened. Then his face turned green. "Oh dear," he said. His hand went to his mouth and he got up from the table, only making it a few steps towards the restrooms when he, unfortunately, emptied the contents of his stomach on Karlo.

From his spot next to Bruce, Gordon cringed. "Oh, good Lord..."

Karlo sat gaping like a fish for a moment before he let out an ear-piercing shriek. "My argyle summer shirt! You animal! Look what you've done to it!" He grabbed his kabob and began clubbing Neil over the head with it. "How dare you!? You coward, bully, cad, and thief!" Neil, still green around the gills, grabbed a student's tray and used it as a shield, before smashing it over Karlo. The pair, once again, began to trade punches. Miguel, sitting at the table behind Karlo's, once again look heavenward and got up to break up the fight.

"Responsible adults," Damian muttered, watching the mayhem. " _Tt_! I'm more mature than these fools and they're twice my age."

Duela and Ellen had their phones out and recording, as did Tim and Stephanie. Edward meanwhile, turned to the adults at his table. "So," he said. "How does this trip rank compared to the others so far?"

"Better than the camping trip and the water park, worse than the zoo," Jonathan said. "We still have about four hours to go, though."

Edward groaned. "Terrific." He hoped the girls, with one obvious exception, were just as miserable as he was.

 

 


	8. Meanwhile, Back at Gotham Academy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at Gotham Academy, the girls enjoy their afternoon off, unaware of the danger brewing...

_Meanwhile, Back at Gotham Academy..._

_"Attention, students. This is Principal Hugo Strange. Classes are now over for the day. Those students serving detention will remain on campus until 2:30 and those attending club meetings may remain until 3:00 pm. All students must be off campus by 3:30 pm or face severe consequences. That is all._ "

Harley took her seat at the head table in the chemistry lab and clapped her hands. "Alright! Everybody's here! Did you all bring the stuff?"

Kristen nodded in the last seat on the left. "I've got the graham crackers."

To Harley's left, Pamela put a box of chocolate bars down on the table. "I brought free-trade chocolate."

Next to Kristen, Selina put a wine bag down. "I brought the wine."

"And I've got the marshmallows and toothpicks!" Harley cheered. "Girl's Day is on!" She lightly jostled Penelope, who was sitting to her right. "And ta think, you wanted to stay in your office and work! Aren't ya glad ya came here instead?"

"We'll see," Penelope said, still looking a bit unsure. "How exactly are we going to make smores?"

"Oh, that's easy," Harley said. She reached to a bunsen burner that was set up in the middle of the table and turned it on. "Ta-da! Instant indoor campfire!" She stuck a marshmallow onto a toothpick and held it over the blue flame. "Come on, Penny! Grab a marshmallow!"

"Maybe later," Penelope said, her eyes wide at the open flame. 

Pamela scoffed. "One would think with how many 'conferences' you've been to that you'd be used to these sort of shenanigans."

"Well, we've never had an open flame at the 'conferences'," Penelope muttered. "Not yet at least. Anyway," she said in a clearer tone. "What are our plans today?"

"You're looking at our plans," Selina said, pouring wine into plastic cups and passing them around the table. "Wine, smores-"

"And gossip!" Harley said. "It'll be just like a slumber party!"

Penelope and Pamela exchanged a look, then took a long sip of wine. Heavy footsteps alerted the women to the presence of another person in the room. Principal Strange had appeared in the room and was giving each and every one of them a disapproving look. "Ladies, and I do use that term lightly."

Harley gave him a cheeky wave. "Hiya, Hugie."

Strange's left eye twitched. "You know I detest nicknames, Ms. Quinzel."

Harley frowned. "Hey! That's Dr. Quinzel! I didn't go through med school just to be called 'Ms.' Quinzel!"

Strange sucked in a breath between his teeth. Escaping punishment from Superintendent al Ghul had emboldened the faculty to the point they were no longer intimidated by Strange. More was the pity. "Excuse me, 'Dr.' Quinzel." He turned his gaze to Kristen. "I am leaving for my meeting with the school board. I trust that everything will be taken care of in my absence, Ms. Kringle?"

"Yes, Principal Strange," Kristen answered while opening her box of graham crackers. "I can more than handle the administrative duties. I'm also in communication with Vice Principal Gordon regarding the trip."

"Excellent," Strange nodded. Then he turned his cold gaze to the three Sirens. "Coach Bolton is handling the students in detention. Under no circumstances are you to interfere unless at his request. In return, he will leave you to your own devices. Is that clear?"

"Crystal, Strange," Pamela said with a mocking salute. "Run along now. I'm sure the school board is waiting."

Strange's face colored, then he recovered. "Ladies. Enjoy your 'girl's day." He stomped out of the room. As soon as he was gone, Harley blew a raspberry.

"Well," Selina said. "Now that he's gone, what's on the agenda first, girls?"

A buzzing sound from Penelope's phone answered that question. Pamela rolled her eyes. "Edward?"

"Yes," Penelope answered, reading the text. "Oh my. It seems that Neil ate a rancid spanakopita and vomited on Karlo, which then caused their second fistfight of the day. Mockridge has given them fast passes so they can go on rides for the rest of the day."

Selina poured herself some more wine, then lifted her plastic cup up. "A moment of silence for the poor boys on the field trip today."

"Hear hear!" Harley agreed, raising her glass. Kristen, Pamela, and finally Penelope followed suit. She watched as the other four women lowered their glasses to take sips, then dissolved into laughter. She bit her lip.

"Selina?" she asked. "The three of you didn't cheat to stay at the school together, did you?"

Selina put a hand to her chest in mock affront. "Us? Cheat! Why we never!" Then she smirked and gestured to Kristen. "The keeper of the straws on the other hand."

Kristen laughed. "Mea culpa."

Penelope shook her head and took another sip of wine. She made a note to herself not to tell Edward about this. As insufferable as he could be when he was proven wrong about something, he was even worse when he was proven right. She looked back up from her cup to see that the other four women were looking at her, Selina, Harley, and Kristen with curiosity, Pamela with something that looked almost like pity. "What?" she asked.

"Speakin' of Eddie," Harley leaned forward. "You're up first for gossip, Penny! You and Eddie are gettin' pretty serious now, aren't ya? Do ya think you'll get married?"

Penelope felt her face flush and she took a larger gulp of wine. She almost wished she'd gone along on the trip.

* * *

 

 

Coach Bolton walked up and down the length of the detention room, looking over the three boys in his custody. Lonnie Machin, Jason Todd, and Roy Harper. Troublemakers, all of them. Spoiled little rich boys who thought the world owed them something. He'd bring them in line if it was the last thing he ever did. Finally, he walked back to the front of the room and behind his desk. "Do you three know what you need more than anything?"

Jason leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head and regarded Bolton with cold contempt. "To get out of this school?"

Bolton banged on the desk with a closed fist. "DISCIPLINE!" he yelled. None of the boys so much as flinched. "You three," Bolton continued. "You think that just because you have rich daddies, that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want."

"I'm not rich," Lonnie interrupted. "I got in this school on a scholarship. Don't lump me in with these two class traitors-"

"Get bent, Lonnie," Jason shouted. "I was born in the Narrows. I didn't choose to get adopted by a billionaire-"

Bolton banged his fist on the desk again. "SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!" Both boys fell silent, though they continued to glare at each other. Roy sat in a desk next to Jason with his feet propped up on the seat in front of him and a bored look on his face. "You three think you're such bigshots. Well, you're not! You're just a couple of little boys, acting like men." Bolton punched his hands together. "Well, you won't be little boys after I get through with you. When you leave my detention, you'll leave as real MEN!"

"That sounds dirty to me," Roy sassed. He looked at Jason. "Does that sound dirty to you, Jay?"

Jason snorted. "Sure does, Roy. I think we need an adult!"

"I am an adult!" Bolton shouted. "I know exactly what you two are doing," he glowered. "You won't break me! I'm not that spineless Vice-Principal Gordon!"

"Dork Squad broke you first, Coach," Jason said. "Speaking of which Roy, you smell something?"

Roy smiled, then wrinkled his nose. "I sure do Jay! Smells like a broken Port-o-Potty!"

Bolton's face flushed. "Keep yucking it up, you little brats," he seethed. "I can do this all day."

Jason and Roy exchanged a knowing smirk with each other. "'I can do this all day?' That's what Mr. Nashton said to Doc Young the other day in the teacher's lounge, isn't it Jay?" Roy asked his friend.

"That's what I heard," Jason said. "And they did it, all day. Now that's a real man, Roy."

Bolton gnashed his teeth. "Nashton's a sweater vest wearin' wimp! He's not a real man!

Jason smirked. "He's the sweater vest wearin' wimp who got the woman you wanted. If he's not a 'real man', what does that make you?"

Bolton's face went white, then he walked to the door of the classroom and stepped out, slamming the door shut behind him. As soon as he was gone, Jason and Roy laughed.

"Too easy," Jason laughed. "Did you see his face? It was like we kicked his grandma!"

"That was a low blow," Lonnie muttered. "But I'll admit, it is nice to see that sad sack of toxic masculinity be taken down a peg."

Jason smiled. "Lonnie, you might be alright. Look, Roy and I are gonna bust out of detention after we break Coach. You in?"

Lonnie rubbed his chin. "I'm in."

Before Jason could say anything else, Coach Bolton stormed back in, murder in his eyes. "Alright, you little shits," he said through grinding teeth. "You want to play hardball? We can play hardball." He placed a stack of paper and a pencil in front of each boy. "Write 'I am a failure' 500 times!"

Jason picked up his pencil. "Got it, Coach. We'll write, 'Coach is a failure' 500 times each."

"No!" Bolton shouted. You'll write 'I am a failure'!"

"Yeah, we'll write 'Coach Bolton is a Failure,' just like you asked, Coach," Roy said. 

Bolton let out a frustrated scream. The three boys simply looked at each other and smirked. It wouldn't be long before they'd have Coach crying on the floor and be on their way to freedom.

 


	9. Between Charybdis and Scylla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Teachers and the Students get on a boat ride. What could possibly go wrong?

After the kids had had enough time to properly digest their 'food' and Neil and Karlo had been put in teacher time-out, Gordon decided it was high time for the kids to go on some rides. During a quick conference with Bruce and the rest of teachers, he made the executive decision to do one ride as a group before splitting off in separate groups. Gordon took a quick look at the park map in his hands. "Alright," he said. "Looks like the closest rides to us are 'Escape from Pompeii' and 'Between...how the heck do you pronounce this?"

Edward took a glance over his shoulder. 'Between Charybdis and Scylla.' That's a reference from the Odyssey."

"Looks like a boat ride," Gordon said. "Well, I don't know about you, but I'd rather do a boat ride than run an obstacle course after lunch."

Jonathan scoffed. "Us on boats? I give it five minutes before we sink each other."

"It'll be fine, as long as we don't let Karlo and Harris near each other," Harvey grunted. "I keep telling you, we should have just stuck them on the buses."

"Without supervision?" Bruce questioned. "Harv, they would have killed each other."

"Perhaps we should let them fight it out," Miguel grumbled. "It would settle their petty feud once and for all."

"No, no, no," Gordon said, shaking his head. "There will be no murder committed on this trip. Not in front of the kids at least. Let's head to the boat ride." Gordon got off the bench he and the other adults had been sitting at and raised his voice. "All right kids! We're heading to the boat ride!"

The kids got up and prepared to follow the teachers. While Gordon corralled Harris and Karlo, who were sitting on opposite ends of the food court, Duela and Ellen leaned in to whisper to Tim and Steph. "Should we split off now?" Duela whispered. "We could disappear in the crowd before our Dads notice we're gone."

"No," Tim whispered. "Too risky. We need to wait until there are fewer adults around." He narrowed his eyes when he noticed that Damian was watching their conversation. "We have to wait for Damian to do something too."

"Are you sure he will?" Steph asked. "He's been sticking pretty close to Bruce so far."

"Trust me, Steph, he will. He always does." Tim got up. "The teachers are getting ready to go. We better move." The kids got up from their bench as Gordon marched Harris and Karlo back to the front of the group, keeping a close eye on the both of them. 

"Let's go! Head 'em up, move 'em out!" The great mob of teenagers followed the teachers as they led them out of the food court. Before they made the left turn towards the boat ride, Mockridge and Zeus decided to say their farewells. 

"Have fun kids," Mockridge said in a smarmy tone. His beady eyes narrowed at Edward. "You too, Eddie. I gotta get going, got to get back to work, but I'm sure I'll see you later."

Edward grit his teeth but said nothing. Mockridge laughed, then turned on his heel and headed towards the mock mountain in the center of the park. Zeus then waved his arms up and addressed the group. "Go forth, my children! Be merry!" His gaze turned to Jonathan and his sunny expression darkened into a glare. "Beware the Furies, who may torment you! Beware! Beware!" Zeus walked backward from the group, his arm extended towards the sky, an almost manic look on his face. "Beware!" he shouted one last time, before sticking a hand in his toga and throwing some powder on the ground. A plume of smoke ensued, though all but the ones in the back could see Zeus running to the right. 

Gordon, Bruce, and the teachers exchanged a long, bug-eyed stare. "What the Hell was that about!?" Harvey asked.

"That's a riddle I'm not sure I want to solve," Edward muttered. He jostled Jonathan with his shoulder. "Why was he giving you the death glare?"

Jonathan shrugged. "Must be my downhome Southern charm," he drawled.

"Quite," Gordon said, taking back control of the conversation. "Let's get to the ride before he comes back."

* * *

 

'Between Charybdis and Scylla' was a boat ride that ran along the length of 'The River Styx', a long river that ran around and through the length of the park, much like the lazy river ride some of the teachers and Gordon had been on the previous year. Much to their surprise, or rather, dread, there was no line. At the front entrance of the ride there stood a chipper attendant with a permanent smile etched into his face, much like Ms. Droukas had when greeting them earlier. The employees seemed to be more like hostages than employees. "Welcome to 'Between Charybdis and Scylla!" the pockmarked young man chirped. "Let me just go over the rules real quick: keep seated at all times. No splashing or rocking the boats. No hitting each other or other boats with the oars. We recommend that two adults be seated in the front of the boat to help steer-"

"Wait a minute," Jonathan interrupted. "We have to row these damn boats?"

The park attendant didn't miss a beat. "You can let the current take your boat, but there are obstacles in the waterway." The teachers exchanged an uneasy look. "But no need to worry, the boats just jostle a bit on impact. Everyone here knows how to swim, right?"

"Surely you have lifevests?" Edward asked. 

"On the boat floors," the attendant said quickly. "And the water's only three feet deep. Anyway! Enjoy the ride!" With another uneasy glance, the adults led the students forward. The boats were lined up in front of them. They looked as well-maintained as the rest of the park did. They were large enough to accommodate the teachers and students on one ride at least. Now came the hard part. Deciding how to split the teachers up.

"Neil and Basil absolutely can't be together," Gordon hummed. He took a quick look at Jonathan's bony arms. "And Jonathan's going to need help. Alright, how's this: Jonathan and Miguel take the first group of kids." Both of the mentioned men nodded their agreement and herded a group of a dozen students towards the boat at the head of the line. "Now...Edward, Harvey? I know you two want to stay close to your kids, and your kids are pretty inseparable, so you take the second boat." Edward and Harvey glared at each other, but pleading looks from Ellen and Duela forced their hand. They huffed and began to load the second boat, Ellen and Duela taking the seats just behind their fathers. "Alright...Jervis, you and Neil take the third boat, Bruce and I will take the fourth boat, and Victor and Basil take the last boat. Make sense?" The adults nodded and voiced their agreements. "Well, let's get this over with." Gordon followed Bruce, Alfred, and their group of kids to the fourth boat, while the other teachers and park attendants helped secure the children.

"Dad," Ellen said, holding up a ratty lifevest. "I don't think this is gonna keep me afloat."

Edward looked at it and cringed. "Well put it on anyway. Worst-case scenario, you could always use me as a flotation device."

"We have to be buckled up in these stupid boats," Duela griped. "If this bucket turns overboard, we're gonna drown anyway, so what's the point of these lifevests?"

"No one's going to drown, kiddo," Harvey said, taking a seat. "Now put on that vest." Duela sighed but did as her father asked. 

When all were secure, or as secure as one could be in the rickety old things, the attendants stood back and announced that they were safe to take off. Each of the adults took hold of the large oars in front of the boats and pushed off from the bank, letting the current take them down the River Styx. Well, all of the adults except for Jonathan, who gladly let Miguel do all the work. For a few minutes, the boats followed each other down the artificial river single file. It was peaceful and almost soothing, so of course, it didn't last long.

"What are you doing!?" Edward asked Harvey as he used the left oar to steer from behind Jonathan and Miguel.

"I'm getting us out from behind them," Harvey grunted. "Miguel steers like an old lady!"

"I heard that, Dent!" Miguel shouted in front of them. "I'm going as fast as I am comfortable with."

Harvey grunted again and the boat began to drift past Miguel and Jonathan. "There!" Harvey crowed. "Faster we go, faster we can get this over with! Nashton, help me steer this thing."

Edward arched an eyebrow. "Do I look built for manual labor?"

Harvey grit his teeth. "Nashton..."

Edward sighed. "Fine." He grabbed the right oar. "Where to, Captain Smith? Mind you don't steer us towards any icebergs." The boat drifted further down until it came across a fork in the river. In the middle of the fork was a sign with a question and two lines written beneath it, one curved and one straight. "What is the shortest distance on a map?" Edward read out loud. "Ah, I see. We need to pick the correct answer to choose which path to go down. Well, obviously, the answer is-"

"A straight line," Harvey said. He steered the boat towards the left, where the straight line was pointing. "Help me steer, Nashton!"

"No!" Edward shouted. "On a globe, the shortest distance is a curved line, you imbecile! We should go right!"

"Does it look like we're on a globe, Einstein!? Help me steer or so help me God, I'll toss your scrawny ass overboard!"

"Dad!" Duela shouted. "Quit threatening my best friend's Dad!"

"Sorry Pumpkin," Harvey said. He took a deep breath and spoke as calmly as he could. "Nashton. Edward. Pretty please. With sugar on top. Help me steer the fucking boat!"

Edward's eyes narrowed and he was about to say something when he felt Ellen tap him on the shoulder. "Dad!" She said in a sing-song voice. "Remember how you promised Penny you wouldn't start any fights today?"

Edward paled a bit. "You wouldn't rat out your father, would you?"

Ellen nodded sagely. "I would."

"My little hellion," Edward muttered. "Fine, Harv. We'll go left." With a pained grunt, Edward helped Harvey steer the boat towards the left fork in the river...and towards rapids.

Harvey's eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. "What the-" he was cut off by the boat being sucked into the rapids and the screaming of all those aboard. He and Edward barely managed to steer the boat through the fake, but very powerful rapids until the water smoothed out. "Jesus fuckin' Christ!" he shouted when it was safe. "What the fuck kind of park is this!?" He turned to Edward, who along with several of the kids behind him, was puking his guts out into the river. When he was finished, Edward turned and fixed Harvey with a glare.

"I told you we should have gone right, moron!"

The rest of the boats wisely went right.

* * *

 

For the next twenty minutes, all was calm as could be. The boats gradually lost sight of each other as they went down separate forks, but as far as anyone could tell, they'd all made it through the ride relatively unscathed. Jervis at this moment was leaning back in his seat, being lulled almost to sleep by the gentle drift of the boat. Then Neil began to sing.  **"Yo ho, yo ho! A pirate's life for me!"**

Jervis opened an eye. "Neil, much as I enjoy the sound of your voice, that is the sixth time you've sung that since we started the ride."

Neil just laughed. "Where's your sense of high seas adventure, Jervis?"

"I think I lost it when we went down those rapids," Jervis muttered, rubbing his eyes. The river had widened since he'd last paid attention and he could see other boats emerging. He could also hear Edward and Harvey screaming at each other from the far left side of the river.

_"...Have you never solved a riddle once in your moronic life!?"_

_"Shut up and steer the boat, Nashton!"_

Jervis shook his head. "Oh, Dormouse. I think we're almost at the end of the ride, Neil."

Neil hummed. "Well I don't know about you, but this was fun!" His eyes caught a boat on the right side ahead of them and they narrowed in mischief. "Oh look, there's Basil."

Jervis sat up straight and gulped. "Now now, Neil, please be civil. The ride's almost over."

Neil had grabbed his oar though and cackled. As their boat passed parallel to Basil and Victor's, Neil slammed his oar down into the water hard, splashing Basil. The theater teacher sputtered in outrage. "Harris, you barbarian!"

Neil just laughed. "Just helping you clean up from lunch, Basil!" Jervis shrank down in his seat, happy at least to be out of range.

Basil grit his teeth together. "You think that's funny, Harris? You think destroying my clothing and humiliating me is funny!?" Grabbing hold of his oar, Basil steered the boat towards the left, drifting towards Neil and Jervis. 

"Karlo!?" Victor shouted. "What do you think you're doing!?"

Basil ignored Victor, turning the boat until the bow was directly facing Neil. The music teacher's eyes bulged out when he realized what Basil intended to do and he desperately tried to steer forward. "Say your prayers, Harris!" Karlo shouted. Then he began to row with all his might towards Neil.

"Karlo!" Victor shouted. "Think of the children!" When Basil ignored him, Victor unbuckled his seat belt and pulled on his lifevest. "Everyone out of the boat!" The kids had beaten him to it, pulling on their vests and jumping into the water. Victor jumped off last, letting out a curse. The loss of weight from all but Karlo abandoning the boat sped it up, sending it careening towards Neil and Jervis faster than they could avoid it. The boats collided, the force of the impact pushing Neil, Jervis, and their shrieking kids across the river towards the left-most bank. 

At the sound of the screams, Harvey and Edward stopped arguing long enough to turn their heads and see the boats heading on a collision course towards them. "Jesus Christ!" Harvey shouted. "Nashton!"

Edward nodded frantically. "Right!" The current wouldn't let them stop or turn around, so with all their combined strength, Edward and Harvey rowed the boat as fast as they could. The current sent them surging ahead, narrowing avoiding colliding with the two boats.

The fourth boat, the one containing Bruce and Gordon's group wasn't so lucky, for it happened end to emerge from a fork just in time to be impacted by Neil and Jervis' boat. The three boats impacted the left embankment with a loud crunch. The fourth boat turned over on its side, sending Gordon, Alfred, and several children into the water. It was pandemonium.

Harvey unbuckled his seatbelt and jumped into the water. "Nashton!" He shouted. "Get the boat to shore then come help me!"

Edward nodded, steering the boat to the embankment and grounding it at the shore. As soon as he made sure Ellen had disembarked, he took a look at the murky water and cringed. God only knew what bacteria was in there. The sound of Jervis shrieking snapped him back to reality and he got out of the boat, running up the embankment towards the site of the crash. Dozens of kids were making their way out of the water, soaking wet, but uninjured. As he helped the kids out of the water, he saw Miguel and Jonathan wading their way from the right, their boat parked on the other side of the river. "What the Hell happened?" Jonathan asked in between guiding kids out of the water. 

"Karlo rammed his boat into Neil and Jervis, then they crashed into Gordon and Wayne," Edward explained. "Jervis!" He called out. "Are you still alive?"

On cue, Jervis stuck his head out, spitting a long stream of water. "I think I've had quite enough adventure for one day chaps," he said faintly, wobbling to his feet. Jonathan steadied him, placing his hands on his shoulders and walking him out of the river towards Edward, who pulled him forward.

"Bruce! Jim!" Harvey shouted. Behind him, Miguel had fished Neil out and carried him bridal style out of the water. Harvey looked at the scene frantically. Most of the kids had made it out, but where were Bruce and Gordon? Bruce emerged from under the boat finally, pulling Jim up with him. Harvey waded through the water and took Gordon as Bruce dove back down. He popped up a second later with Alfred in his grasp. Both men made their way to shore, where the other teachers and students were gathering. 

Ellen and Duela meanwhile, had followed Edward up the embankment and found Stephanie, soaked, but very much alive. "Are you ok?" Ellen asked.

"I'm fine," Stephanie said. "Tim was next to me though! Tim!"

"Tim!" Bruce shouted. "Damian!"

There was no response. A silence swept over the crowd as the horrifying realization crashed down on them.

"So," Edward whispered to Jonathan. "Who gets to tell al Ghul his grandson died on the field trip?"

"Not me," Jonathan whispered back.

"Wait!" Duela shouted, pointing at the water. "Look!"

Damian emerged from under the boat with a wrathful look on his face. Behind him, being dragged by the shirt collar out of the water and towards land was a dazed Tim. Damian stomped onto the shore, dropping his brother at Bruce's feet, who rushed to Tim's assistance. "T-thanks, Damian," Tim stuttered through chattering teeth.

Damian huffed. " _Tt_! I only did it because Grayson would never let me hear the end of it if I let you drown!" He turned his head up to his father. "I can't wait to tell Mother and Grandfather what one of the teachers did!"

"Neither can I," Bruce glowered, turning towards Karlo. The theater teacher was sitting down, surrounded by the other, very angry teachers, several of whom were armed with oars. He only seemed to now comprehend the magnitude of what he'd done. He opened his mouth, only for the beating to begin. Bruce watched with great satisfaction.

 

 

 

 

 


	10. The Flight of Icarus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another ride, another misadventure. Mockridge has a come to Jesus moment with a 'business partner.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With apologies to Judd Winick for shamelessly stealing dialogue.

_Meanwhile, in the office of Daniel Mockridge_

"They did  _what_ to the boat ride!?" 

Cleo Droukas, Mockridge's assistant for the past three years, watched as her boss' face lost its smug smile and turned pale. She tried not to let on how much it amused her. "One of the teachers rammed his boat against another boat, which in turn rammed into a third boat, causing a collision against the embankment. None of the students are injured-"

"Forget the students!" Mockridge shouted. "What about the boats!?"

Cleo frowned. "The third boat was tipped over, but otherwise undamaged. The first and second boats, however, sustained damage during the collisions. They'll need to be repaired."

"And just how much is that gonna cost me!?" Mockridge yelled, running a hand through his hair. "This park's already in the red! Between operating costs and the settlements from that food poisoning case last year, I'm in the hole for $5 million! Which I could have handled, no problem, if _Riddle of the Minotaur 2_ hadn't bombed!" Mockridge moved his hand from his hair onto his desk, smearing paperwork with the greasy hair product. "I don't get it. _Riddle of the Minotaur_ put Competitron on the map. It broke sales records. How did the second game do so badly? We marketed the shit out of it!"

 _Perhaps you shouldn't have fired and blacklisted the original game's creator_ , Cleo wanted to say. Instead, she waited until Mockridge had finished his whining before she continued. "The teacher who rammed the boats, Mr. Basil Karlo, has been removed from the park premises."

"They called the cops on the son of a bitch?"

"They did, but he was taken away in an ambulance. The other teachers administered their own 'justice' on him."

Mockridge's eyes widened. "Jesus Christ," he muttered. "I always knew Nashton was a fruitcake, but what the Hell is wrong with these people?"

Cleo had heard the rumors about how badly the students and teachers behaved at the Raging Rapids Water Park the previous year. She'd tried to warn Mockridge, but he'd been too set on sticking it to Edward Nashton to listen. Now they had to all deal with the consequences. "Principal Gordon is currently speaking with park security, while the teachers and students are continuing their trip."

Mockridge looked slightly amazed. "After the boat ride, they want to stay in the park?"

Cleo shrugged. "Apparently, this isn't anywhere near the worst thing that's ever happened to them on a school trip." Which, if true, was the most disturbing thing she'd heard all day.

An oily smile returned to Mockridge's face. "We may just be able to salvage this day yet! What about Wayne? Is he still happy?"

It took everything Cleo had not to smirk. "He was in the boat that was overturned."

Mockridge's face paled again. "God damn it! He's already pissed at me for that crack I made about his girlfriend! I was hoping to convince him to invest in Competitron!"

That was looking about as likely Mockridge himself admitting that Edward Nashton was the reason Competitron had been as viable as it was. Before she could say anything else, there was a knock at the door. "Yes?" Cleo called.

Mockride's secretary poked his head in. "Sir? Mr. Sionis is on Line One."

All the remaining color drained from Mockridge's face. "Oh shit. Tell him I'm in a meeting!"

The secretary shuffled. "He's being very insistent sir. He threatened to staple my lips shut if I didn't put him on the phone with you."

Mockridge sank in his chair. "Oh, Christ...fine. Put him through." As soon as the door shut, Mockridge pushed a button on his phone. After how badly Riddle of the Minotaur 2 had sold, Mockridge had needed to seek external funding to keep Competitron's losses manageable. Unfortunately, Mockridge had about as much sense in seeking out loans as he was in keeping talent, and he'd wound up in the debt of Roman Sionis, industrial magnate and rumored mobster. "Roman!" Mockridge said jovially. "I was just about to call you! How have you been?"

 _"Sure you were,"_ Sionis spoke, his voice rumbling over the speakerphone. Oh good. He was pissed.  _"I checked my account this morning and lo and behold, I didn't see your monthly contribution. Where's my money, Mockridge?"_

Cleo watched Mockridge gulp and somehow kept the satisfaction off her face. "Ah well...It's going to be a bit late this month, Roman. I had other obligations to take care of." Said other obligations included child support, gambling debts, payouts to several young ladies under his employ, and a new yacht. 

Cleo could just make out the sound of a sharp intake of breath. Then Sionis spoke again.  _"Perhaps my last request was too mired in subtlety. I want my money, or you're dead. When I say dead, I mean dead. Beaten, broken, YOUR **HEAD** MOUNTED ON MY **WALL** KIND OF DEAD!!!"_

Mockridge began to sweat, babble excuses and Cleo took that as her cue to leave. She shut the door behind her and finally let out the small laugh she'd been holding in. Then her thoughts turned to the Gotham Academy group. Hopefully, the boat ride would be the extent of their shenanigans for the day.

* * *

 

"We're going to the Library of Alexandria and that's final!"

"Like Hell, we are, Nashton! The kids want rides, we're going on rides!"

"Right, Harv, because the last time we were on a ride, it worked out so well! We're going to a place with books!"

"You can go to a place with books if you want Nashton, I'll take the kids to the rides."

"You're not going anywhere with my little girl without me!"

Jonathan and Jervis looked on at their friend and co-worker's argument and then gave each other a long-suffering look. After seeing Karlo off, Gordon, Wayne, Neil, Miguel, and Victor had been quick to split off into different sections of the park, leaving the four of them in the main hub to argue over which way to go. "We could just leave them, you know," Jonathan whispered to Jervis.

Jervis shook his head. "No we can't, March Hare. You know as well as I do that Harvey will kill Dormouse if left unsupervised."

Jonathan looked back to Harvey and Edward. Harvey's hands were balled up into fists and his face was turning magenta. "Harv looks ready to strangle him now." The students themselves watched the argument with the kind of indifference that came from witnessing this happen several times. Not even Ellen and Duela seemed that concerned.

"Which is why we need to intervene," Jervis insisted. He stepped forward and cleared his throat. "Now see here chaps-"

"If you don't get out of my face in the next two seconds Nashton, I'll make sure that Ellen stays your only child!"

Jonathan rolled his eyes, then stepped in to help Jervis corral the two men. "Knock it off the both of you," he scolded. "You're actin' worse than the actual children." Harvey and Edward turned to glare at Jonathan, then back at each other. Edward looked ready to say something smart when Jonathan interrupted. "Harv, don't you have that coin? Just flip on it."

Harvey smirked and pulled said coin out of his pocket. What he and Jonathan knew but Edward didn't, was that the coin was double-sided. "Alright, Nashton. Heads we go to the rides, tails we go to the Library of Alexandria. Agreed?"

Edward crossed his arms. "Fine. Flip it." Harvey did so and caught it with his left hand, flipping it over onto his right palm. When Edward saw the result, he scowled. "Flip it again!"

"For God's sake!" Jonathan shouted. "Edward, stop acting like a damn toddler and come on already!"

Edward sneered and opened his mouth, only for Ellen to interrupt. "I've got Penny in my contacts," she said in a sing-song tone. "And I'm not afraid to call her..." Edward paled, then sighed.

"Fine. Fine. We'll go rot our brains on the rides. But when disaster strikes, I will be the first to say I told you so!"

* * *

 

 

"Welcome to the Flight of Icarus! Please observe all posted rules. You must be at least 64 inches tall to ride, follow instructions at all times, one adult must be with a group of kids..."

While the ride attendant droned on, Edward, Jonathan, Jervis, and Harvey took in the ride with a growing sense of horror. The Flight of Icarus was a modified swing ride. Only, instead of seats hanging down from the top of the carousel, there were harnesses. The riders would strap themselves in, lie on their stomachs, and put large canvass wings on their arms. The idea was to simulate flight, like the mythological character of Icarus. It looked even more dangerous than the boat ride. When the ride attendant finished his spiel, the four men looked at each other. "So," Jonathan drawled. "Who's going first?"

"Not me," Edward said immediately. "I'm a father."

"So am I," Harvey said gruffly. "And Duela, there is no way in Hell you're riding that thing."

"I don't want to," Duela quickly agreed. "That thing looks like a death trap."

"I kind of want to go on it," Ellen added. Then her face fell. "But I'm too short to ride."

"Good," Edward said. 

"I'm too short as well," Jervis said. "So I suppose that leaves you, March Hare."

Jonathan sighed. "Well, I have no fear of death. Might as well." He and the six kids who actually wanted to go on the ride stepped through the gate, and let themselves be strapped in. When Jonathan's wings were placed on him, he heard Edward chuckle from the other side of the gate.

"You're living up to your name now, Jonathan _Crane_ ," he smirked. "When you're airborne you'll look positively majestic."

"I will hurt you," Jonathan said crossly. Once the last child was strapped in, the ride attendant stepped back to the control panel and powered the ride on. The carousel's tower rose slowly as the chains began to move and spin the riders around. At first, it was slow, but it quickly picked up speed. The teachers and the students on the ground were colorful blurs to Jonathan as the ride spun him around, faster and faster. Luckily, in addition to feeling no fear, he felt no nausea. Frankly, it was almost fun. 

Unfortunately, while the designers of the ride had accounted for height and maximum weight, no one ever thought to consider a minimum weight for the ride. Jonathan was so light and thin in build that he wasn't securely harnessed. On the thirteenth rotation of the carousel, he slipped out of his harness and was vaulted through the air. "Jesus _Chriiiiist_!" he screamed as he flew 50 feet above the ground.

"March Hare!" Jervis screeched, running after his friend. Edward and Harvey followed in close pursuit, trailed by Ellen, Duela, and a few other kids. The rest stayed put to film the scene, of course. 

"Jon!" Edward shouted as Jonathan began to dip down. "Flap your arms! Try to fly!" Jonathan did so, and remarkably, managed to pick himself up. "We should be close to the main hub," Edward mused as the group followed Jonathan, who was now gliding at a steady pace. "Jon! When we get to the plaza, you should be able to glide into the fountain!"

"The fountain!?" Jonathan shouted. "After the boat ride!?"

"Well it's that or you can impale yourself on a tree!"

"Jesus fucking Christ," Harvey muttered. "Mockridge has one Hell of a lawsuit coming his way."

The small group followed Jonathan into the plaza, where they caught the attention of not only other parkgoers, who were pointing and gasping at the sight of Jonathan gliding through the air. Unfortunately, they also attracted the attention of Maxie Zeus, who took Jonathan's appearance very differently. "A fury!" he bellowed. "Back, fury! Back to the depths of Tartarus with you!" He gripped onto the base of his lightning bolt, which, while not a real lightning bolt, served very well as a javelin. He threw the bolt at Jonathan and his aim was true, the bolt puncturing one of the canvass wings.

"Son of a _biiiiiiitch_!" Jonathan screamed as he plummeted to Earth, disappearing in the tree line that surrounded the main entrance to the park.

Jervis collapsed onto his knees. "March Hare! Jonathan! No!" He began to wail and sob.

"Dad?" Duela asked, for once almost shaken. "Is Mr. Crane dead?"

"I'm sure he's not," Harvey comforted her. He gave Edward a short nod. "You and Tetch better go look for Crane. I'll take care of the kids."

Edward didn't look happy at the prospect of leaving his daughter, but he liked the idea of her tagging along to find Jonathan's possible corpse even less. "Alright. Ellen, behave yourself. I'll be back with Uncle Jon in a few minutes." He stepped forward and began dragging a still weeping Jervis towards the tree line. "Come on, Jervis. We have a March Hare to find."

In an hour, he would regret letting his daughter out of his sight.

 

 


	11. Meanwhile, Back at Gotham Academy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason and Roy push Bolton past the point of no return.

_Meanwhile, back at Gotham Academy_

Edward would have been happy to know that for the preceding hour and a half, Penelope had been fending off the Sirens' questions about their dating life. Unfortunately, the more wine she drank, the looser her tongue became, just as their friends intended.

"I have to ask," Pamela said. "What exactly do you see in that man? You could do much better."

Penelope poured herself more wine and gulped before answering. "You don't give him nearly enough credit," she said. "As obnoxious as he can be here, he can also be a very sweet, considerate man."

(Said 'sweet and considerate' man was at that point in time ready to throw hands with Harvey in a cheap boat, but what she didn't know wouldn't hurt him.)

Pamela rolled her eyes. "Are you sure we're referring to the same Edward Nashton? He once deliberately tilted all the pictures in the art gallery on campus just because Gordon kept ignoring his riddles."

"Well, I never said he wasn't incorrigible at times," Penelope defended. "But he has his good moments too." She smiled a bit as she thought of them. "He's very supportive of my work inside and outside the campus. He takes being Ellen's full-time parent seriously. And no matter what else we might have going on, he almost always takes time out of his day to spend time with me."

"Well of course he does," Pamela drawled. "He's getting something out of those visits, isn't he?"

Penelope arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Selina snorted a bit. "Come on, Doc. You haven't heard the rumors going around school about yours and Eddie's...visits?"

Penelope flushed when she realized the implication, then she scowled. "Honestly. That was one time. Superintendent al Ghul was on the warpath and I thought there was a very good chance of him being transferred out. Nothing like that has happened since."

Pamela finished her wine, then gave Penelope a critical look. "So you mean to tell us that when Nashton sneaks off with you for your little trysts, nothing actually happens?"

"Nothing like that, no," Penelope said. "Most of the time, he just-" Penelope stopped, flushing a bit.

"He what?" Selina asked.

Penelope took another sip, then put her glass down. "Most of the time, he just wants a hug."

Pamela threw her head back and laughed, Selina and Harley joining in with their giggles while Kristen checked her phone for updates about the trip. "Aww," Harley cooed, wiping her eyes. "That's adorable!"

Penelope meanwhile crossed her arms and fixed her colleagues with a glare. "I shouldn't have said anything. Did you three invite me here just to get blackmail material on Edward?"

"Relax, Doc," Selina said. "No one's going to blackmail anyone. We're just having a bit of a fun, right girls?"

"Right-a-roonie!" Harley said, giving a thumbs up.

"Speak for yourself," Pamela said with a smirk.

Penelope rolled her eyes. "Anyway, enough about my love life." She nodded at Harley. "Weren't you telling me that you were going on a date with someone you met online last week?"

Harley cringed. "Oh yeah. Floyd. Our date didn't wind up happenin'."

Selina raised an eyebrow. "He wasn't catfishing you, was he?"

"Nah," Harley said, twirling the end of her pigtail. "Nothin' like that. So we met up at the restaurant, and he was just as hot as his profile said, but just when we ordered drinks, the FBI raided the place and arrested him for murder. He took out like three agents with the wine bottle and a dinner fork before they slapped the cuffs on him." Harley took a long swig of her wine while the other women looked at each other. "I think I'm gonna take a break from men for a bit.'

"A good idea," Pamela said.

A buzzing noise came simultaneously from Kristen and Penelope's phones. Both women looked down, read the text messages, and cringed.

"What?" Selina asked.

"Karlo caused an accident on a boat ride," Kristen explained. "He rammed his boat against Neil's and caused a collision with Vice Principal Gordon's and Bruce Wayne's boat."

"Is everybody okay?" Harley asked.

"No one's hurt," Kristen said.

"Except for Karlo," Penelope interjected. "Edward just told me that he and the other teachers decided to teach Karlo a lesson about endangering the students."

Kristen nodded. "Karlo's been taken away by an ambulance, and the police were called. Needless to say, he won't be coming back to Gotham Academy."

"Sheesh," Harley said, shaking her head. "That's the third drama teacher Neil's helped drive off in six months! I wonder who the next one will be?"

Selina meanwhile, just sighed. "I warned Bruce not to go along on the trip," she said. "But did he listen? No. That man's too stubborn and noble for his own good." She smirked. "Oh well, I'll just have to help make it up for him later, as I'm sure you are with Eddie, right Doc?"

Penelope just flushed again.

* * *

 

Meanwhile, in Detention, Lyle Bolton was sitting at his desk with his fists clenched and his teeth grinding. "Just an hour to go, you little shits," he managed to hiss out at the three boys sitting at the desks in front of him. "I can handle anything you little punks dish out!"

Jason just pulled a straw out of his pocket, ripped a small hole at the bottom, and blew the wrapper in Bolton's direction. It landed on the desk, much to the delight of the other boys. "Nice shot, Jay!" Roy cheered.

"That does it!" Bolton shouted, standing up and pointing a meaty finger in Jason's direction. "You! Drop and give me fifty!"

Jason rolled his eyes, then did as Coach demanded. While he was doing this, Roy took advantage of Bolton's distraction to shoot a rubber band at the side of the coach's head. On impact, Bolton's head snapped towards Roy.

"You should have aimed it at his ass," Lonnie said.

"He has to have an ass to aim at," Roy quipped.

"You!" Bolton screamed, his face magenta. "Drop and give me fifty!"

"Who?" Roy asked. "Me or Lonnie?"

"Both of you!" Bolton screeched, spittle flying everywhere.

Roy dropped down, but not before giving Lonnie a wink. Lonnie grinned, then stubbornly folded his arms across his chest. "This is a violation of this school's rules against corporal punishment! If you try to force me to do push-ups, I'll have the ACLU out here so fast-"

"You'll what, little boy?" Bolton demanded, walking towards Lonnie. "You'll get Mommy and Daddy to call you a big expensive lawyer? You think that scares me, little boy?" While Bolton was busy trying and failing to intimidate Lonnie, Jason had finished his push-ups and silently made his way to Bolton's chair. He pulled a thumbtack out of his pocket and placed it on the chair, then rushed back to his desk before Bolton could turn around and notice him. Luckily, Bolton was too busy screaming to pay much attention to his surroundings. "So do your FUCKING PUSH-UPS!!!" He bellowed in Lonnie's face.

Lonnie merely looked up and said, "No."

Bolton bellowed again with rage and went back to his desk. "Non-compliance! I'm writing out another detention slip for you, Machin! Just wait until Principal Strange gets back! You're gonna get expelled if its the last thing I do!" Bolton then took a seat, directly on top of the thumbtack. He got up again with a yelp of pain, both of his hands going to his rear. "Jesus Christ! My ass! What did you punks do!?"

"What do you, he does have an ass," Roy said in between laughs. Bolton was too busy hopping up and down, trying in vain to pull the thumbtack out of his ass to do anything else.

"That's our cue, boys!" Jason yelled, getting out of his seat. "Go, go, go!" He, Roy, and Lonnie broke for the door and ran as fast as their legs could carry them. Coach Bolton's office was on the far side of the campus, but it wouldn't take long for them to get to the main door and freedom.

Bolton finally pulled out the thumbtack, then let out another cry of rage. "Oh no you don't, you punks!" He went to the wall, next to the class phone and lifted a panel. Under the panel was a red button that was connected to the school's security system. Every classroom had one since they'd been installed two years ago, but no one had ever used it. Until now. "This school's goin' on LOCKDOWN!!!" Bolton screamed. Then he pressed the button. A loud, siren-like sound filled the school, and every single door was locked. Bolton laughed. Finally, he was going to get back what was his.

* * *

 

 

When the siren sounded, Harley dropped her drink in surprise. "Jeez Louise!" she shouted. She checked the bunsen burner. "Did I set off the smoke detector or somethin'?"

"That's not the fire alarm," Kristen said, her hazel eyes widening. "That's the lockdown alarm!"

"The lockdown alarm?" Selina asked. "There's what, maybe twenty kids here at most? Why the Hell are we doing a lockdown drill!? And why wouldn't Strange or Gordon tell us if we were!?"

Harley gulped. "You don't think somethin's actually happenin', do ya?"

As if it had heard her question, the PA crackled to life. "This is Coach Lyle Bolton," a deep voice sounded. _"As you can see, Gotham Academy is on lockdown! And it's gonna stay on lockdown until Jason Todd, Roy Harper, and Lonnie Machin get their asses back to detention RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!"_ Bolton hung up the PA, leaving the five women to look at each other.

"How did I know?" Pamela seethed. "How did I know Todd was going to pull some ridiculous stunt today!?"

"Well, speakin' as a mental health professional," Harley said. "I'd say that Bolton's the one that's gone cuckoo for cocoa puffs, right Penny?"

"Right," Penelope agreed. She brought a hand up to her face. "So much for avoiding shenanigans today. How do we stop this?"

"First things first," Pamela said. "We have to get out. That door's going to be locked electronically."

"I can fix that," Kristen said, stepping forward. "I've got the override code." Kristen went to the door's panel and punched in a six-digit code. The door unlocked, allowing the women to exit the chemistry lab.

"Alright," Selina said as soon as they were in the hallway. "We need a gameplan. Kristen, Penelope, you two track down any security guards who are still here and get to the principal's office to override the lockdown school-wide so we can get the kids out. Me, Red, and Harley are going to find Jason, Roy, and Machin before Bolton can get his hands on them. Make sense?" Kristen and Penelope nodded and made a left turn down the hallway, towards the offices of the security guards. Selina then nodded towards Pamela and Harley. "Ready girls?"

"Woop Woop!" Harley shouted., pumping her fists in the air. "The Gotham Academy Sirens are on the case! Let's roll!"


	12. Damian ex Machina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dork Squad contemplate their experience, while Damian lends some assistance to Tim's plot.

_Meanwhile, back at Mt. Olympus Theme Park_

 

As the two remaining members of the Dork Squad searched the trees and bushes by the park's front entrance for their missing friend, Jervis continued to wail. "Oh, March Hare! Poor March Hare! Struck down in the prime of his life!"

"The 'prime of his life'?" Edward asked sarcastically. "Jervis, the man's 45, at least 50 pounds underweight, drinks too much and smokes like a chimney when he's not at work! The fact that he's made it this long is a minor miracle!"

Jervis sniffled. "He had so much life left to live, Dormouse!"

Edward rolled his eyes and continued to look up in the trees for any sign of life. "Jonathan! If you're still with us, give us something to work with!"

_"I'm over here!"_

Edward and Jervis turned their heads out of the sound of Jonathan's voice. Sure enough, dangling from a tree about twenty feet in front of them, was Jonathan Crane, slightly bruised, but mostly just pissed. The cardboard wings still attached to his arms were lodged in tree branches, keeping him hanging about three feet off the ground. With a wild shriek of joy, Jervis ran to him. "Oh, frabjous day! Calloo! Callay! March Hare lives!"

"In a manner of speakin'!" Jonathan grumbled.

Edward walked up to him, failing to hide his amusement at Jonathan's predicament. "That's quite a nest you have there, Professor Crane."

Jonathan glared at him. "Edward you smug son of a bitch, if you don't help me get down from here, I will make you rue the day you were born!"

"Rude!" Edward shouted. He looked up and down at Jonathan, then rubbed his chin. "Well, the answer to this predicament is simple. Jon, slide out of the wings."

"And fall?" 

"Jervis and I will catch you, won't we Jervis?"

Jervis nodded. "Just fall into our arms, March Hare!"

Jonathan huffed, then awkwardly shimmied out of the wings. He fell three feet out of the tree...and two inches away from Edward and Jervis' outstretched arms. "Son of a bitch!" He grunted.

"Oops," Edward said.

Jonathan glared up at him, then pulled himself up to his feet. Jervis was at his side, inspecting him for injuries. "Are you alright, Jonathan? Should we call for an ambulance?"

Jonathan waved Jervis away. "Nothin' wrong with me that a little vengeance won't cure," he growled. "This is the last damn straw. Mockridge is gonna pay for this!"

Edward nodded. "Well, you certainly have more than enough grounds for a lawsuit-"

"I don't want money," Jonathan interrupted. "I want _blood_."

"I agree," Jervis said enthusiastically. "That chav must suffer for what he's put all of us through, right Dormouse?"

Edward hesitated. "Well, I..."

Jonathan looked at him aghast. "Edward, by all accounts, the man stole credit for your game, wrongfully terminated you, ran the game you created into the ground, was crass to your child's mother and your current girlfriend, serves substandard food and allows dangerous rides, and you're _still_ not goin' to help us take him out!?"

"I made a promise, Jonathan!" Edward shouted. "When I make a promise, I keep my word! I promised Penny I wouldn't start anything with Mockridge, no matter how much I want to!"

Jervis held a finger up. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you promised that you wouldn't _start_ a fight with Mockridge. You never said you wouldn't _finish_ one. I would say that you've been more than sufficiently provoked."

Jonathan nodded in agreement. "I think after everything that's happened, Penelope would understand if you took a swing or two."

"Maybe," Edward said, chewing his bottom lip. "On the other hand, I doubt she'd be happy if I called her from a jail cell. If you two want to get your licks in, that's your affair. In the meantime, let's find Harvey before he takes Ellen to another ride."

"Let's go to the bus first," Jonathan said, walking out of the treeline towards the main plaza. "I need some moonshine to take the edge off."

* * *

 

While Edward and Jervis were searching for Jonathan, Harvey had taken their group of kids to the Amphitheater. Bruce and Neil were there with their groups, and Harvey took a seat next to his friend. The school groups were now watching a dreary performance of _Oedipus_ , and Damian wasn't shy about making his feelings known. "Father, this is dreadful."

"It's better than you kids going on another ride," Bruce said. He was half ready to nod off at the actor's droning. He turned to Harvey. "Crane really went flying?"

"He did," Harvey said. "Duela and a few of the other kids have it all on their phones."

Bruce glowered. "Well, the first thing I'm doing when I get the boys home is calling my lawyer. If Crane wants to speak with him too, I'm more than willing to pay for the consultation."

Harvey snorted. "Careful, Bruce. Rate it's going, all the other teachers and half the kids' parents will want to talk to your lawyer by the end of the day!"

Bruce smiled, then settled back against the bench and continued to watch the, in Damian's words, rather dreadful performance.

Meanwhile, just a few feet away, Tim and Stephanie were huddled with Ellen and Duela. Duela looked back to where her father was sitting with Bruce, then leaned into the group. "It's after 2:30 now. We're leaving the park in two hours. If we're gonna make a break for it, we need to do it now."

Tim looked back towards Bruce. He wasn't paying them any attention, but Damian had caught his eye and was staring back. Tim quickly looked away. "We have to get away from your Dad and Bruce. We need a distraction-"

"I knew it. You are plotting something, Drake!"

Tim and the girls almost jumped out of their seats when Damian snuck into their group. Tim quickly looked up to check that Bruce wasn't listening in. He was in conversation with Harvey about something and not looking in their direction. "Go away, Damian," he hissed. "We're talking about something important."

Damian raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Should I inform Father?"

Tim deflated. "If we tell you, will you promise not to tell Bruce?"

"No," Damian said bluntly. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to get back at Mockridge for firing my Dad," Ellen said before Tim could. 

Damian cocked his head. "You're conspiring against that condescending jackass owner of the park?" He then frowned and turned back to Tim. "Why didn't you say so earlier, Drake?"

It took a moment for Tim to formulate a response. "You actually want to help?"

"Not for you or your friends, and certainly not for Nashton," Damian clarified. "But Mockridge is scum. He deserves to suffer for that horrid food alone." He inclined his head towards Tim. "So what are you intending to do?"

"We're going to sneak off to the park's control room in the fake mountain and broadcast insulting memes about Mockridge so everyone in the park will see them."

"I see. No doubt you need me to be a distraction for Father."

"Pretty much, yeah," Stephanie said.

Damian considered this for a moment, then nodded. "Very well, but you'll owe me, Drake."

Tim rolled his eyes. "Of course, Demon."

Damian frowned, then turned his attention back to his father. Bruce seemed surprised that he was sitting by Tim, but seemed to approve. Then the entire audience's attention was captured by the performance ending and Maxie Zeus stepping onto the stage. "Greetings!" the man boomed, his voice echoing in the amphitheater. "Did you enjoy one of my great tragedies?"

No one in the audience applauded. 

Undeterred, Zeus continued. "Excellent! Before we move onto to another play, an offering must be made!"

"He's not asking us for money, is he?" Duela asked. "'Cause I've only got $10 and he ain't gettin' any of it."

"Given the context, I think he means some kind of religious offering," Tim mused.

"A religious offering?" Ellen asked. Just then, a park attendant came onto the stage, dragging behind him a malnourished looking goat decorated in a flower garland. The goat bleated piteously as it struggled against the rope around its neck, and Damian's eyes narrowed. Once the attendant met Zeus in the center of the stage, he handed the rope over and jogged off. Zeus then tied the rope around an altar that was leftover from the performance. He then pulled a knife from his belt. Ellen gulped. "Oh Hell no," she murmured. "He's not gonna kill the goat, is he?"

"This is most satisfactory!" Zeus declared. He held the knife above his head. "Witness the glory of Zeus!"

By this point, the audience members were shouting, fleeing the scene, or in Neil's case, fainting dead away. "Bruce!" Tim shouted. "Do something!"

Bruce was on his feet in an instant. "Stop that right now!" he shouted. "What in God's name do you think you're doing!?"

"God?" Zeus said. "I am Zeus! I am God!"

"Jesus Christ," Harvey muttered. "Where's Crane when you need him?" (At that precise moment? Drinking moonshine out of a paper bag.) He looked towards Duela, who was shielding Ellen's eyes away from the impending gory scene. "Duela, honey, don't look!"

Damian got to his feet. "Consider this your distraction, Drake." Before Tim or anyone else could stop him, he charged onto the stage and headbutted Zeus in the stomach. Zeus fell backward, dropping the knife. Damian turned the goat and untied it. "Go on," he said gently, shoving it towards the edge of the stage. "Get out of here!"

Zeus got back to his feet and glared at Damian. "You dare strike the almighty Zeus!? The king of the Gods!? I shall smite you!"

Damian sniffed. " _Tt._ You can try, you diseased egomaniac."

Zeus roared in anger and charged towards Damian, only for the boy to punch him in the groin. The goat, evidently grateful to Damian for his assistance, turned around and headbutted Zeus in the stomach. Bruce and Harvey finally made it onto the stage, Bruce grabbing Damian and Harvey putting Zeus into a headlock. "I think this is our cue," Stephanie said to Tim.

Tim nodded. "Right. Let's go!" In the ensuing chaos, Tim, Stephanie, Duela, and Ellen got up from the bench and made their way to the exit. In fifteen seconds, they were gone.


	13. Meanwhile, Back at Gotham Academy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Sirens begin their search for the fugitives, while Cassandra and Duke also get involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back! Sorry for the long gap between updates, but I just haven't been feeling inspired lately. Hope you enjoy!

_Meanwhile, Back at Gotham Academy_

 

"Alright," Selina mused as she, Harley, and Pamela made their way down the hall that led from the chemistry lab to the main path down the middle of the school. "Bolton's classroom is on the far left side of the school. It's at least five minutes from there to the main entrance, even if the boys were at top speed. There's no way they could have made it out before the lockdown happened. So now the question is if they couldn't get out through the front entrance, where would they go?"

Harley rubbed her chin. "Well, they might've gone out that back door that's near Bolton's room, the one that leads out to the football field."

"Then where would they go?" Pamela asked. "They can't climb over the fence, and they wouldn't be able to get back into the school with all the doors locked."

Harley shrugged. "Maybe they'll try to go out the back way?"

Selina stopped in her tracks, turned around and gave Harley a look. "Harley, the back way is the Pine Barrens behind the school. There's no way they're crazy enough to go through the Pine Barrens."

_Oh, Yes They Are_

 

Jason, Roy, and Lonnie stood in front of the Pine Barrens just behind the football field. "This was your great escape plan?" Lonnie asked sarcastically. "Run through the Pine Barrens?"

Jason glared at him. "You don't like it, Lonnie, you're free to go back to Coach Numbnuts!"

Roy awkwardly shuffled on his feet. "I don't know, Jay. I heard there's a monster that lives in the Barrens."

"Yeah, Roy, we've all heard about the Jersey Devil," Jason said, rolling his eyes. 

"Not the Jersey Devil," Roy said. "I heard there's a moth monster that lives in those barrens!"

"I've heard the rumors as well," Lonnie said. "You remember that freshman who went missing last year during PE? Witnesses say that a moth man flew over the track and picked him up!"

Jason rolled his eyes again. "Ok, first off, if a moth man did fly over the track field and carry a kid off, _someone_ would have gotten it on their phones. Second, the kid's not missing. He was back in class the next day, and he never said anything about a moth monster. He got expelled for flushing firecrackers down the toilets three months ago. Third, are we gonna stand around here arguing over the Pine Barrens like little kids, or are we gonna make a break before Coach comes after us?"

Roy and Lonnie took one look at each other, then at the Pine Barrens, then back at Jason. Lonnie shook his head. "If you two want to go through the Pine Barrens, that's your problem. I'm going to go find the tunnels under the school and make my way out there. Good luck." Lonnie walked back towards the school, leaving Jason and Roy to their fate.

Roy gave Jason a nod. "I'm with you, Jay." The two boys took a breath and walked into the dense, dark Pine Barrens.

 

_Meanwhile, back to our 'Heroines'_

 

"Alright," Selina said. "We'll take a sweep down the main hall and around the cafeteria, then we'll head outside. Sound good?"

"We should stop by my classroom first," Pamela said. "I want to be prepared in case we run into Bolton."

"Good idea," Selina considered. Given the fact that Bolton was unhinged enough to essentially hold the school hostage, she wouldn't put it past him to get physical with them if they met up. "Alright, after your classroom, we'll stop by my office to pick up some weapons. Keep an eye out for the kids and Bolton." The three teachers made their way towards the biology classroom. At the rear of the line, Harley paused for a moment and rubbed her chin.

"Did I remember to turn off the bunsen burner?" she murmured. She looked over her shoulder back towards the chemistry lab, then back in front of her where her two friends were moving on without her. She shrugged. "Yeah, I must've." She quickened her pace to catch up with Selina and Pamela.

* * *

 

Cassandra had volunteered to stay on campus to wait for Jason to get out of detention and to make sure that he didn't cause too much trouble. Duke had decided to stay with her because he had nothing better to do. Now that they, as well as six other students were locked inside the library, he regretted it. He'd listened to Bolton's PA announcement with horror. "Oh man," he muttered once the PA went dead. "Jason and Roy really messed up this time." He and the other students were gathered around the main table in the library, with the librarian sitting at his desk. "Mr. Kane," he asked. "Can't you let us out?"

Mr. Kane shook his head. "You heard the announcement. Everyone's going to stay put until those three troublemakers are brought back to detention. God only knows what they might do to you kids."

Duke thought Mr. Kane's reluctance had more to do with his fear of crossing Bolton than his concern for the students. He huffed and leaned back in his chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his fellow students pull out their phones, probably to call their parents. Duke then realized that Cassandra wasn't at the table. He turned his head to look for her, only to spot her standing at the floor-length windows that overlooked the main quad. He got out of his chair and went to her. "What's up?"

Cassandra rapped her knuckles against the glass, not answering him at first. "Kane's not going to let us out, is he?"

Duke shook his head. "Nah. He's too scared of Bolton. Looks like we're stuck here." Cass hummed, then walked back to the table. Duke thought she was going to take a seat, only to watch her pick up a chair and walk back to the windows.

"Young lady!" Mr. Kane shouted. "What are you doing!?"

Cassandra didn't answer the librarian but gave Duke a quick nod. "You might want to move."

Duke did as Cassandra said, stepping to the side as she swung the chair at the window with all her might. The window's thin glass shattered, sending fragments flying inside and outside the library. Cassandra used the legs of the chairs to clear out the remaining jagged pieces of glass from the windowpane before she carefully steeped outside. 

"Young lady!" Mr. Kane sputtered. "You come back here right now! You've just damaged school property! What do you think you're doing!?"

Cassandra looked over her shoulder and shrugged. "You wouldn't let us out."

The librarian sputtered and his face turned red. "Now you see here-" The other students had sat shocked during Cassandra's display, but now were up on their feet, following her out the empty space. Duke was the last one out, gingerly stepping over the glass and ignoring Mr. Kane's outraged whining. The rest of the kids scattered about the quad in an attempt to find a way out, while Duke followed Cassandra towards the main building.

"What now?" he asked. "Should we try to get out?"

"Not until we find Jason and Roy," Cassandra said, walking forward with grim determination. "Bolton's going to be after them."

Duke paused for a moment. "Wait, Cass, shouldn't we call Bruce? Or Dick?"

"Bruce is at the theme park and Dick's at the beach," she said. "They wouldn't be able to get here for at least an hour. It's up to us to help the teachers and find Jason and Roy."

Duke wet his lip. This wasn't exactly what he had in mind for the day, but what choice did he have, really? "I'm going to ask my folks to transfer me to a school that isn't run by maniacs," he muttered.


End file.
